Friday, December 23, 2011

Every Day

My new Years Resolution is not to have one but to make everyday count. We should have already been making everyday a special day and striving tomake our lives rich. Of course everything in my blog is my opinion. Like assholes everyone has one therefore everyone has an opinion. I might offend some and start arguments that you find it necessary to send me wonderful emails instesad of posting your thoughts here for everyone to enjoy. I love those little love notes. I really do. like my art, I show for everyone to see whether or not it is liked or appreciated at the very least it is being looked at and an opinion is being formed. there is never a bad or good comment, a bad or good opinion, our thoughts are unique and we are all respectful and mindful that we are all different. Getting back to the premise for this post, as I tend to blab.....

To make today count is very easy. If you did not have a good year in your OPINION...then let me enlighten you on my take. I spent many years mulling over all the bad things I have done in my life putting myself down for some of the choices I made. I started to regret the relationships I could have strengthened and some I could have started. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself for situations I caused others pain and discomfort. Whether it was intentional or by a bad decision. What I realized is that everything we do in our life is connected and good always comes out in the final say. For me anyway I saw good in all the situations I re-visited to bring closure. Through it all I raised wonderful children because I sacrificed my selfish needs. they now thank me. they raise their children keeping all my lessons in mind. I always tried to show affection and love to all my friends and relatives when I could and even when certain people criticized me or rudely poked fun at the fact I was a touchy feely person...those same people have crossed paths with me later and came to me with open arms happy to greet me. I learned not to percieve the world through negative eyes. See the world as a beautiful experience and appreciate everything and everyone around me. I was able to love myself first and then it carried out to others.

We all have eyes on us, whether it is family or friends. We all have someone that looks up to us for insiration. We have to be mindful of this. We are all connected in some way. We affect each others existence. I almost closed this blog for my perception that no one was getting anything from it. I had this idea in my head that it was a waste of time and my time was better served doing something else  like watching tv or internet surfing. I did not think people were reading this anymore. I recieved a comment from someone that was heart warming and it made me re-think the selfish thought I had. believe me when I say we all have eyes on us. We are all connected. We all have so much to live for. Our joy is robbed of us by others who have this problem. They have this negative outlook because everyone gives up on them. negative people are just great individuals trapped in a lie. We have to at least try and reach out to them by being a beacon of light for them. sounds corny. We donot have to do anything directly for them but just them seeing us feel joy and be kind helps them. I rambled again. If you regularly read my blof then youll understand. If not, it is what it is.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

In LALA Land

This has been a wonderful year for me. I have created for myself a wonderful experience. I am thankful to our God in the heavens for giving me this great gift be able to create my life out of the promise he gave us through his son. It is a wonderful premise. We think it. Feel it. Believe it. See it. Be thankful we have already recieved it. And then we shall recieve it. If we do not have full faith in that which he has promised how do we expect to prosper in any capacity. If we do not acknowledge his presence in our lives and the son he sent down to let us know all the secrets, how do we expect to expect anything at all.

there are people that say we are destined for what we are destined for. I say we are destined for what we ask for. If we set in motion the negative aspect of our lives then we are not living by faith. We are already giving up hope. If we live by faith then we already live believing we have recieved what was primised to us. What was promised to us was his almighty power. that power is within us. It is a carbon copy of our creator. I am not going to sit here and quote scripture. I am not going to give you a scientific analysis of our being and what we are here for or as we say "our purpose" I will say give it a try. Believe with all your heart. Be happy and joyful with all your might. Feel his love in you and have no doubt you already have recieved. I guarantee you will prosper. Prosper in happiness out weighs any monetary goals you will set for yourself. If you are happy completely you can create for yourself anything you desire. It will be attracted to you. So. Quit your bitching and moaning and get to work creating a wonderful life for yourself.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Creating Our Life Is an Art

I just celebrated my 45th birthday yesterday. This whole weekend was amazing. I am in love with my life that I created. It was given to me but the journey I created. We create our journey every day. We set forth the steps we take far in advance before we step forward. I do not know how it works out but I know it works. I ask for it, it comes my way. I complain and give my attention to something I do not want and it comes my way. I give attention to anything and focus too much it comes my way. Simple. Yes it is that simple. There are a few things I left out that are very important but the basics are we are what we think.

Lately I have been feeling in control of my life like never before. I know the source of all my good and challenging experiences. I can see where certain directions my life takes had its beginnings, Where I could have had a different thought process. Every day I am thankful for the experiences and the people I meet and are a part of my life. This is a wonderful journey that is going very fast. Now that I know what I know about life I often wonder what it would have been like to have this knowledge as a young man. How different my journey could have been. When I start to think of that alternate route I would have taken then I am reminded of my beautiful children and the wonderful people I have encountered along the way and the amazing friendships.

I often think of my life as a canvas waiting to have the imagery put on it. What vibrant colors I will choose. What textures I can conjure up and the arrangement of color and subject. There are so many variables to consider when painting a masterpiece. Who will see it? Who will buy it? What will everyone think of it? Do I care what people think? I should not as long as I enjoy it. Life is that way. Sometimes we make decisions based on what we worry about what others will think. Sometimes we arrange our lives a certain way where it does not please us but it will serve another’s purpose. We make ourselves available for others. We sacrifice our happiness for others comfort.

When it comes to our children we always make sacrifices. What I did not realize is that I could have played both sides of the token. I could have been providing for them working the same hours and yet working somewhere I love rather did not like just to make ends meet. Make sense? And if you come right down to the basics it is not about what you are doing it is how you perceive your life experiences that gauge your happiness. We need to be happy regardless. We need to love our lives in any and all situations. We need to feel and see the joy. Creating our life is a lost art only a few have the ability to perform.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I create for myself an environment where I can be happy everyday. Not to say that there will not be challenges in my world. We live in a world that is ever evolving. I live my days to be thankful and expect people in my life that I can inspire. wonderful appreciative people who are positive even in the most dire of circumstances. We are so blessed to have a breathe. We are so fortunate to have the opportunity to be alive in this beautiful globe of humanity. there are so many opportunities that we come across. Opportunities to love and be loved. We look for joy in our lives. When we feel joy it feels right. We are creative masters of our lives. Go and create a masterful masterpiece of a life.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Time Is NOW. Create that Joy.

At a certain time in our lives we start to question everything. That point in time is different for everyone. Some go through this period of enlightenment early on when they reach adulthood and figure it out and appreciate the rest of their lives. Some live the majority of their adult life working hard, stressed out, being responsible, putting everyone around them first and sacrificing their happiness for the well being of others not realizing that they can have all of it. Some spend their whole lives and realize everything was about their joy when they are in their twilight years. Then watching their grandchildren grow and loving them opens their eyes and they try desperately to teach their children not to make the same mistakes. Like I said these are just a few examples of how we find ourselves at different stages of our lives.

We all have the capacity to love, laugh and live on a daily basis. Enjoying our life regardless if your the only one in your world living that way. We can try and shove this information in our loved ones faces and teach them how to be happy. Show them how to love everyone around them. Explain to them that grudges and hate is useless. Lead by example to display our love for even our enemies. Sometimes the relationships we are around are toxic. The people we love are so much a part of us that we cannot abandon them. We love them. We would do anything for them. How do we keep our composure? I deal with this question everyday. I want to be happy everyday. I want to feel joy 24 hours a day. I want to be able to talk to someone that wants the same thing and feels the way I do. Is that possible? Whether or not it is possible I am going to feel joy. I will block out the anxiety I feel from these people in my life that claim they are happy and feeling joy. I will move forward  past them and be happy inside. I will proclaim victory at the end of the day when I lay my head because In the end it my be my last time and I would not want to waste that day listening to the whining and bitching. We need to be stronger. We need to be happy.

Changes to our conscious is so important. We need to quit filling our subconscious(soul) shit from above so to speak. We need to fill our soul with thoughts of joy and hope. Expect to have a great and wonderful productive day exploring the possibilities for which we were created for. We are here to make amazing strides in humanity. We are here to love and love everyone. To challenge each other to heal each other with love and kindness. Forgiveness takes bravery. It takes courage to stand in front of someone who has caused you pain with a smile and feel no pain. I am not saying go look for that individual. What I am saying is face that memory head on and wipe the pain away. Do not let that memory continue to destroy your day or the tomorrows before they can be created. We are to create wondeful days for ourselves. We are to make ourselves joyful.

Where is the rulebook that tells us we are to be victims of our ownselves making hell for one another? Where does it say we are suppose to hate. As children we are innocent. We are love in its purest form. We should carry that throughout our lives. Acknowledge, learn, file it, move on! those of you edumacated people who have a smart answer that you learned in school kiss my ass. Analyze, judge what you want. Use that expensive education to tell me otherwise. But...I'll tell you that the strength we need to overcome our problems that we create for ourselves is within us. Solving these hard matters of the heart and mind are answered if we just look inside. We all have the capacity for so much yet we sell ourselves short and pay someone or give up as the answer. Drugs is the pacifier or just to get by the day. Deal with it tomorrow I am to busy right now pill. I know so many hypocrites in my life. The first one is in the mirror. The next one is close by. The other one is even closer. Why do we lie to ourselves and our loved ones. Why do we tell our children one thing and do the opposite of what we taught?

In closing. Because my random thoughts are giving me a headache. Because What I really want to say is too blunt and naming names is bad for my KARMA. Yes. I said Karma. If it is a name to call that what goes around comes around. I got it out as to teach all of you to quit wasting time hating, hurting, selfdestructing, cutting, hiding, ignoring, abusing, victimizing, allowing, faking, crying, bashing, trashing, crashing...... tell your friend the pill, the pipe, the bottle and whoever else helps you forget that you want to remember and feel what it is that you will recognize what it is you are never going to let control your life again. Let it go my loved ones. Let it go. Let the joy reside. Let that joy be addictive. Allow that JOY to overcome and infiltrate every part of your life and quit making excuses as to why you wont. Let that loved one in your life know that they can be pittiful of they want but you will be happy and remind them everyday they have to look at you smiling that they are sad. Thats it.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Life is so precious. Life is like what a painting is to an artist. So precious. So valuable. So much effort and passion goes into living that we will do anything to keep it. We are so delicate as humans. We are precious. We live for today and yet we do not appreciate. We diminish the importance of the present and expect tomorrow. We are selfish. I love my life today. I am in love with my breath that I take. I see the future up to the next moment. I see happiness and joy. I try with all my strength to defer the uncomfortable situations to tomorrow. Because if I wait until tomorrow to worry and I am not alive I spent today relishing in my joy without distractions. If I make it to tomorrow and have to face that discomfort... chances are that it will work itself out or, my joy will gain strength and I can deal better. I can have more strength to inspire and love the people around me to deal with it together. We are all connected and have to take into consideration everyone that lives those moments with us. We have to encourage and inspire. I have someone to encourage me everyday. Thank you my Precious Lord. Thank you My precious Love.

I repeat alot of the same mumbo jumbo in my blogs. I know that some do not want to read the truth and have their own thinking. I respect that. I respect it to the point of, It is my blog and if they do not want to return then it is what it is. If you return then you are with me in this wonderful journey and we are allies. We can feel positive thoughts together. We can encourage one another with good vibes. We can ask our Lord and Savior to send reminders of our joy and what we are made of. We can remember that wonderful man on the cross many years ago who was the ultimate positive person that walked this earth and tried to show us the secret to life. And we did not see what was obvious. He taught it so simply. His message was very basic. So many generations of so called teachers and smart religious people have distorted the basic message of LOVE. Why? I really do not care why anymore as I spent most of my life worrying about why. then I read and read. And one day. BAM! I am happy. I feel joy. I love being alive. I can look in the mirror and love the handsome person looking at me. I can be free of my guilt. I can release all of the shame that others have dumped on me without regret of their own. I can be free of the shackels that my environment has brainwashed me with. I can truly be happy. I can fill myself up with this endless joy that I was born with. I want to shout this to everyone starting with you. I love you. Listen up. Lesson number one. Quit your whining.

Friday, October 14, 2011

What to paint?

I love the expressions I see on the peoples face when they view my work. It is very humbling. If they object to my work and yet they like the medium I use I made them smile. If they like my work all the better. At least they are looking. I am not the most talented artist in the world or even in my little world. I love creating and have a passion for it. It does not matter if the masses are out there asking me to create more work as long as I am appreciated by a few. If I can make a handful smile and feel joy from my work it is a good thing. there are so many artists that look for attention and validation that they are great or better than the next guy. I know some amazing visual creators and they are the most humble low key persons and yet they are so gifted and people flock to see them. They have a passion they have the talent and the ability to be gigantic and yet they choose to be humble and just do it for the love. I agree.

I observe the art lovers that go to the shows and art walks. They go with a passion to see new works. They want to be stimulated with uniqueness, color and texture. They want to be wowed. I know when I look at others people work I do not look at the technique or I sit there and critique their process. I look at the energy involved in creating that piece. i look at the way in which it was created. I want to meet the artist and look at his work with him to see his eyes when he looks ast his piece. I enjoy the conversation and their story behind the piece from their own mouths. That is so interesting and I appreciate their piece even more.

I had a few art shows this weekend. I would watch people walk up to my works and ask me if I was the artist. they were intrigued at my medium(metal). And they asked of the process. They loved the texture. I was even told "I like the medium more than I like the work" I love honesty. That helps me know that my stuff is not for everyone and do not take it personal. In that particular show I decided to create flowers, abstracts, butterflies, koi and a couple of faces. Not too dramatic. kind of conservative. I think people sometimes look for shock and awe. They want eroticism. I just want to show the color and texture. I want to fill a room with energy. When you get into subject matter it limits the persons ability to enjoy the piece. If it is a nice colorful piece, abstract then you have a larger audience. More pople can be appreciative of the metal and it's texture. A few dramatic pieces with subject matter will help. Some general imagery. Then they can see the metal can be used as a canvas as well. To fit their choice of imagery.

Again I defer back to people generally wanting dramatic paintings to derive some kind of emotion. To bring them back to a time in their lives. to draw emotion. I want to create a good feeling in people. I want to start creating for the soul. A good feeling piece. Something natural. Something organic. Something we can all relate to. Nurturing. Warm and friendly. I guess I am getting soft. Is there a market for this in this world. Can that type of imagery exist in today's art imagery where most art looking for gross, erotic and controversial? If you are reading this comment below and give me your thoughts as an artist or an art lover. Or as a basic comment on your thoughts!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Talking About Art

As visual artists we want to display our inner most passion. that which we create will give us freedom to that emotion that is inside of us. Some of us artists like to use the art we create as a sort of therapy. We use it as an outlet to heal us. We let our soul talk to the outside. Sometimes our soul talks to us through our art. We are so connected to our soul and most of the time it is screaming at us and we ignore it. We have our natural gifts we spend a lifetime running away from. We meet our soul mates on earth and we walk right by them, work next to them, stay friends with them, be mean to them and we do not even know these people will make our lives peaceful. We have these natural gifts that God our creator created us with. We already had these gifts from before we were born. Some think we are just an explosion in small atoms that all of the sudden emerged as some creation. We are much more than that.

If we are so connected to our souls then as artists we can know w hat to create to stir emotion in others. We know the color that moves. We can heal with our work and let our work talk for us. when I view others work I want to see if I can feel the energy that was given to that piece. Was their passion and emotion used to create that piece or was it just a piece done out of necessity to supply the public with a purchase. Something for the artist to survive with. A tool to receive monetary gain or compensation. Sometimes we have to compromise to make a living with our gifts. Or do we? If I am asked to create a commissioned piece then I will put all of my heart into that piece and love that work. I want to give that person a piece that they can feel not just see. Art should speak to us. It should move us. We should be able to see and truly feel what is being conveyed. We are an emotional  species. We need to be moved to be satisfied. We need our art to talk to us.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Be Happy

I want to get through to you my loved ones but you do not listen. Why do I take it so personal because I want you to feel the same joy I feel daily. I take it so hard when I see you sad and negative. Sometimes it affects me when I constantly send messages and hints that life is beautiful. I even have proof in my life and you still ignore the message. I am here for you and I love you. I always encourage you to smile and FEEL happiness yet you continue to frown and be down. What will it take for you to understand that life does not have to be such a struggle. It is a beautiful ride full of challenges and opportunities to improve and create joy for yourself. We all have the same fight on this journey. We all have the same fate. With that alone should be reason enough to take a look at our days as special gifts that we are here one m ore time to give it another shot. Why not just be happy today if you are not waking up tomorrow. And if you last the week then you had a joyous week. How great can that be. IS another person keeping you from that happiness? Then step away or distance yourself from that person. If you cannot distance yourself from them then know that it is not your fault that they are using you as a target to unload their shit on you. Most people do not even realize they are hurting their loved ones until they are better. Then it is too late. But never too late to apologize and make things better. to move on. To love. To smile. To give yourself the gift of your new life you  can create. Thank God he gave us this gift of the real reality most do not even know about. The reality that exists in our mind. He created us in his image. He created the universe with a thought. We have that power. He created the universe with his love. WE have that capacity to love. Use it. Love one person unconditionally. they will forward that love. Then another. Then another. It is like Multi-Marketing Love. Everyone shares the more it is passed on. Quit wasting time my loved ones. Be happy.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Creators Journey.

It is not always easy to travel the road we have chosen for ourselves. There might be great challenges along the way. We can be as positive as we drive ourselves to be. Happy and full of joy and yet there seems to always be some kind of roadblock or higher hill to climb to see the wonderful light. We have to strengthen our character and be ready by sharpening our swords. We will face that challenge and become better. We learn to appreciate and see the good of our experiences. We are sharpening iron with iron. Life is beautiful we have to embrace the challenges that are facing us daily. We have to be thankful that we can face them to begin with. If we are talking about how we are going to be strong here and face these challenges together then we are very fortunate we have a community where we can be around like minded individuals to encourage us.

We have to be amazing at life. We have to wake everyday and learn to continue to create that beautiful life of ours. If you wake tomorrow and choose to be annoyed or upset then go ahead. But do not suck your loved ones in to the mess you have created for yourself. Do not involve them in your self pity. I did for many years...I did just that. Sometimes I get caught up these days in the unwarranted anger and frustration of my daily challenge. I have an amazing life right now and I am full of joy every morning looking forward to the challenge of creating for myself and the people I love happiness and joy abound! I hug and hold the people that are close to me. I reach out to strangers with a smile and a positive conversation. I can feel the negativity and I attack it with love. I encourage them with my positivism and give them hope that there are more people like myself wanting to care for our fellow man.

I try everyday to renew myself into a positive influence in this world. I am so happy to be given the chance daily. Here in this forum I know I probably reach a few of you. I know that someone reads my energy and knows what I am about. I am about love and positivism. If you think this is a load of crap then I love you stranger, friend, family but get the hell out of here and go find the blog where you can complain. I would rather you stay and read comment, send me a message or not. Whether you read or not I will continue to write. I get to do this. I am a healthy happy joyous person who figured out that loving humanity and myself is healthy. I know that life is beautiful and see the wonderful souls behind the curtain we put up against the world to hide.  I can feel and see thought the hypocrisy. I walk in the room and know where the bullshit is and I attack! I attack with a smile and send them love. Sounds like a crock? Well. Try it. You'll see.

Why do we waste our time anyway being upset or judging others? It is a waste of time and energy. We stress ourselves out and make ourselves sick physically. All we need to do is reach out. It does not have to be anything dramatic. Just be nice to someone. Do not judge someone. Quit being selfish and just think of yourself. Give someone a compliment. Encourage one another. Post something nice on your Facebook for a change instead of some remark that starts eating away at that person that takes everything you say serious. Sometimes we are not aware of the people we impact with our words and actions. I know I have hurt many people in my past and as of recent not knowingly and sometimes I do and I have to move on. We have to be aware of this. We have to think of them. We have to be generous with our love. Stingy with the shit we serve to the world. Wake up. One day at a time. For all you know that day is all you have left. OK so pull it out of you know what and figure it out. I love you all.

Monday, September 26, 2011

What Is Love?

What is love to you? I asked this in a very popular social network we all use called Facebook. I had a few interesting answers. Everyone has passionate answers. The word love conjures up some very emotional responses. If you are wondering why I am asking people about love in an art page here is my answer. If you are alive on this earth you have a chance everyday to create a life for yourself to go in any direction you wish. Most of us have the choice to feel the way we want to. If we have a choice to create for ourselves the life we want or desire or need...then we are creators ourselves. If we are creators we are artists. If we are artists and creators we have a passion for what we create. if we have a passion for that which we create we love that certain thing. In order to take the time to create something you have to be pasionate about it and love it to sacrifice the time and effort to give birth to an idea.

Getting back to love. What is love. A passion? A feeling? An object we desire? Is it romance? Is it a lifestyle? Am I confusing you with my rants yet? Have I started the thinking process in your peanut head yet? For me LOVE is huge. Love is something more powerful than just a word. Love is a way of living. I open my eyes in the morning and remember not to take for granted that I awoke. I have been given a gift to start a new day. An opportunity to connect with the world in a positive way. I remember to show compassiona nd love to my fellow man. Smile at someone. Cause and effect. Smile and they feel good(or not) but I tried. Deep inside we are all romantics and lovers. We all care for our fellow man. At our core we are children. When children get together and they do not know each other they want to play. If they are negative they have learned this or their innocence has been affected by man. If it was a disease they acquired during the pre birth, or transmitted during the birth, or trauma. A childs innocence is sacred. They look for love until they are taught otherwise. They learn by loved ones and someone they trust or all that they know.

Love is all around us asking and begging to be recieved. We do not want to give. It is free. Free to give and free to recieve. A smile, handshake and pat on the back is free. We put on a wall of protection to the outside becxause the world is full of deception. We are always on the look out for the scam artist. If we see someone say hello or greet we think they want something. What is the hidden agenda? I am a visual artist that creates pieces of artwork for all to enjoy viewing. I have epople like and dislike my stuff. Some dislike mor ethan like. It does not matter to me. The few that like show so much emotion and love towards me it fils me with joy because they tke to heart my passion and love me for it. That is priceless. Would I take the money? YES! But I have more satisfaction by their responses. Money gets spent immediately, the emotion they relay to me lasts far longer.

Lets get to the meat and bones. Love is acceptance of your fellow human being. We are all different. We are unique. Love is being thankful. Love is charity. Giving of yourself emotionally when others are in need. Love is unconditional. Forgiveness is important. Love is overwhelming. Love is respect. Love is joy. love is positive. Just know we are all connected and love one another. These are my thoughts. Like them? Read them. Hate them? Read something else.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

As artists we create a life of art. A life of creativity and wonderous imagination. As humans we are artists at our core. We create a life that is wonderous. We create happiness and joy. We create a masterpiece. We also create hatred, sadness and unhappiness. We can also create the opposite based on the decisions we make. We then complain and worry about the reprocussions of our choices in life and then we spend most of our time with regret. Then we base our whole life on insecurities. We are not good enough to have a meaningful life. We are creators of a body of work called our life. We can actually create the life we want. Any situation we feel we are passionate about. We can actually live our deepest desires. I am not talking about material posessions but more meaningful ideas. I am imparting to you the wisdom that was given to me over a lifetime of people in my life who can see beyond our existence. Only now I have realized that dream they had for me and their loved ones. I only now realize that the description of what these wise people were teaching me was something very powerful. Only a small portion of the history of humanity was and is aware of this special power all humans have since birth. It is something we all practive daily. It is something we all know and use. We all have the knowledge of this power in our being. We all can create for ourselves and masterpiece of life. And yet we distract ourselves with our daily routine. Our daily bitching and moaning of how our lives are shit. We complain of how others have it better. How come they have what I want? What makes them special? We are all special. Some of us get it and some of us dont. some of us have it and do not appreciate and some of us had it and did nto appreciate it and now it is gone. Some of use always envy others and put ourselves down like i said before. WE have to own the idea and feeling that we are all powerful and able to create a life we passionately desire. Be happy and appreciate what you have for whatever capacity you have. Be happy for the ability to choose to be happy. no body is twisting your arm to be sad unhappy or bored with life. no body is holding a gun to your head to be unhappy. and if someone is holding a gun to your head to be unhappy they still do not have control you choose to be happy and filled with joy even in the darkest of hours. even in the final moments i would rather coose to feel joy before my physical existence expires and that way i won the battle in the mind to the end so to speak. I can carry this joy to my next life of ............

I am bored and sick of unhappiness. it is so played out. Crying over bullshit. Being sad over everyday stuff. I go over and over what makes me unhappy. complain to others and make them sick of hearing about it. boo hooing to them. eventually they get tired of it and it wears them down and then you have just created a life of distraction for them they cannot focus on their happiness and joy because you have filled their head up with your bullshit. so it is an ongoing cycle. families are the worst for doing this. We create a world that is false. we act like our problems are worse then the next person. our degree of pain and how we internalize it is not the same as the next person. Yet we try to convince our loved ones that our life is so bad. And that we had it so rough. in reality we had the opportunity to experience life the way we did and we should have used those experiences to strengthen our character and move forward stronger and more powerful because we overcame that adversity.  what is so wrong with choosing to be creating a fulfilling life for ourselves. What is wrong with wanting to be filled with joy all day long. What is wrong with wanting to love. Love all day long. Love who you say is the enemy. have compassion for that person that always is sad. give more love to your children parents that cousin that lives alone or that friend that calls you and you never call back. what is wrong with reaching out and letting your love be contagious? does it take too much effort on your part? are you in your comfort zone in life. do you like waking showering shitting go to work come home eat sleep and then the same all over again? is it comfortable to you to just be less than average? Step out of your comfort zone and reach out to who is really you. we are all from love. it took a real understanding creator and a loving creator to create such beautiful masterpieces of humanity. we are pure love at our core and yet we destroy that with all of our fear, craziness and hatered. hatred towards what? fear?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Keep That Smile No Matter What

It is not easy smiling in the face of adversity. We can surely create our lives to give us joy by being ultra happy all the time. Reality is that the world around us can be overwhelming. The News we see reported is very bleek at times. One or two positive stories here and there. The newscasters and reporters smile when the ugly story is told. That gives you an adea right there that they are so used to the crap they tell. Sad stories to them are ratings. I try not to watch the reality of this world.

What is ironic is the true reality of this world is actually a positive one. People are generally nice and loving. We humans have a desire to be loved and admired by others. We want acceptance and appreciation. We want to be cared for and spoiled emotionally. We yearn for that motherly love. Our instinct as children is to seek out nurturing. As we mature through our formative years we are trained and learn what our environment teaches us. If our environment is negative and harsh then we adapt and conform naturally to protect ourselves from dissappointment. Children who are around violence since birth will grow to accept and think it is normal for them. Children who are nurtured and loved, cared for and protected will feel compelled to express that love forward. It is true that dramatic experiences do shape the character of an adult. We carry the memories throughout our lives. They surface when certain emotions are triggered by similar situation or experience. Then we regress to that moment in time. Some of us our strong and find strength from that experience. We learned to use these triggers to rise above. Some of us never blink. Eventually everyone faces their so called demons. We all make peace with our rights and wrongs.

The question is how do we keep smiling through the pain and discomfort in the journey we experience. Our life is full of experience. We love. We loose. We cry laugh and experience so many emotions. We experience physical and emotional pain. We survive. We live short and long lives. We say hello to new loved ones and say hearfelt goodbyes to passing loved ones. How do we stay upright? How do we deal and face our reality? How do we keep our reality a positive happy one? Maybe the secret to this joy is in us and always has been. Go back to what I wrote earlier. We were children with the instinct to love and be loved. That is at our core and who we really are. That is what dominates our being at birth. We are loving souls. If there is birth in life than for certain there will be death. Acceptance of this truth is key to moving foreward. It does not matter who or what we are. We are all connected to this truth. Everyday is a gift of a new start. A new beginning. Yesterday was a time to be thankful for whatever the experience. Was a moment spent with a loved one for the last time? We need to be thankful for everyday we live as to not have a regret. I understand there are many people in this world that led painful experiences and horrible hardships. I would not want to try and assume what they went through. I could not even begin to guess how why or how they reacted and internalized the experience. I think of the holocaust survivors. Before they were taken and rounded up....Did they have positive experiences? Loving families. Day to day joy? Were they uprooted from a family unit and everything changed from one day to the next? Yes I imagine so. The majority were murdered. Did they have regrets? I cannot even imagine the answer.

Whatever happens tomorrow...I do not know. Today I called my mother and told her I love her. I painted my masterpieces. I fell in love. I am a grandfather. I raised wonderful children. I do not have regrets and if there was something I have not acheived before my last breath it was something I must have not wanted bad enough or gave it enough passion to create in my life otherwise it would have happened. I am responsible for the task at hand for as long as I can see and feel this hand. I have a few things I want to do still. But for now giving thanks for what I have and have had is good. looking forward and taking the step towards those goals are grand. If I reach that point of success...wonderful. If I go to bed for the last time before that time then my life was complete.

So today I smile. Take a deep breath before I sleep and give thanks.

Monday, August 22, 2011

This morning I was thinking of today as a day I have to go to work and spend all day away from loved ones. How awful that made me feel. As I drove to work I was thankful that I had a good job. I was thankful that I have been put in another situation to help a handful of people be happier than they were yesterday. I hope I accomplish that today. I know my purpose in life is to connect with those that cross my path in the best way I can and encourage them. Inspire them to create for themselves happiness as I have. Instead of worrying of the time I have to spend somewhere away from where I want to be I am thankful for the opportunity for God putting me where he wants me to be.

There is so much to do. I only have a day to do it in. I always leave myself open to the possibilities. Every possibility in the world to inspire. I smile and laugh all day as much as I can. I know our lives are surrounded by reasons to be upset or unhappy. I know that tragedy seems to follow our existence and our first inclination is to complain about it. We always seem to look at the negative in the situation when we could certainly forgive, appreciate, love and hold on to the positive in everyone we come across. I know it is easier said than done. There is always a time and place for everything in life. There are seasons where we will have the opportunity to say yay or nay. Sometimes over thinking a solution is unhealthy when we make a rash decision and all we had to do was relax, back up and focus. Release all the tension and be calm.

Our minds are clouded with the worries of the world. We follow the trend and stand in line to jump off the cliff just because everyone else is suppose to do so. We are creatures of habit and do not realize that all we have to do is wait, focus and relax. Why are we followers and not leaders? Why cant we laugh and love. As a generalization WE makes up a large percentage of the masses. How many of us can honestly say we forgive, laugh, smile, hug, touch, cry, feel joy, give joy, give love. Are we caught up in our lives running around so fast pretending that we have it under control we medicate ourselves to forget. We desensitize ourself from our loved ones. We become addicted to the easy way out we do not work for what we love. We expect it in a pill. Then we seek help elsewhere for other things. When all along we had it within. We have that power we gave away and lost a long time ago. We have the capability for so much inside ourselves. we lost that key to our own soul. The soul that is God given. God like.

We are our creators child. He took a piece of him and created us. Call him what you want. God, Christ, Creator, The Big Man, Mr Energy, The Universe. there is a being. Something larger than us. Something that gives off energy and gives life. there is a spark in every being not even scientists can explain and we doubt it is there. We become what we call agnostic because we do not believe or not believe. We just exist and we think that is enough. We are thankful to ourselves. When did we lose our innocence?  We tend to blame everyone else and not take responsibility. We continue to do what we do and in our minds are waiting for that apology. The apology doesn't materialize so it justifies our transgressions. We find excuses, we make our family suffer because we think they owe us something, We have become lazy and we teach our children that laziness. We do not struggle to find peace instead we create chaos with our excuses. When does this cycle end? When do we venture on our own with our heads held high contributing to the world in a positive way. When do we break a sick cycle that seems to travel from parent to child. generation to generation.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Just Read.

Everyday I wake I am so thankful. I wake knowing I have another opportunity to create for myself an amazing life. I want to maximize my time left here on this wonderful planet that so many of us take for granted. We are such an amazing species. We have the freedom to love and be good. We have the power to create and be thankful. We have the gifts to transform our world into a beautiful place to live.

Sadly as we look at our media we do not see the latter. At least not as the main story. We see death destruction and tragedy. Where is all the positive re-enforcing subject matter? Is this sensationalizing of human tragedy now entertainment. It is like we are watching a movie and we know it is all fake. The news is more graphic than the R rated movies on the big screen. Hollywood cannot write a better script than our actual lives. We experience all the drama as it unfolds before our very eyes. We are so used to it we watch the television and view on the internet like it is a regular thing. It is a regular thing. We become more diseased with all of the negativity and it causes us to manifest a destiny for ourselves that is bleak to say the least. We pass this down to our children and know the rest.

Where do we stop this vicious chain or revolving door? We decide to feel joy. We decide for ourselves that in our hearts and minds we are happy. We pass all the negativity and look for a smile in our day. We build on that and multiply it. I find myself falling into the trap because around me it is so overwhelming the amount of people I know always complaining bitching and moaning for the shitty lives and situations. How someone owes them something and they are to blame for their unhappiness. We sit in front of the mirror figuring out ways to destroy our lives. We lose confidence in that joy we were born with. As children we always found a way to keep that joy intact. We always played. We always laughed and were silly. We would always come up to our parents after they came home from a hard days work wanting that love and affection and our loving parents that we adored so much would send us away because they are too tired for love. WHAT? Is that ridiculous? Too busy to love? But we do it as well. We do not break that cycle. I tried my hardest to be a good father. A good person. I am sure I can say I failed in some respects based on the the standard I set for myself. But I am blessed to have raised strong children. Strong in character. Even when they saw me at my weakest they reminded me of how strong I am and that I taught them well.

Lessons from our children as they become adults. I am not too proud to tell you I am learning from my children who school me everyday on how to be a great human being. I see them grow and progress. I see them figure out life. I am still learning. I am still happy. I feel joy. I have so much love to give. I have TODAY. When I wake up tomorrow. I will be so grateful for the gift of a new day. I will be thankful that my life has been given a new day for a new start. A new and wonderful opportunity to be fruitful in my quest to feel that wonderful joy. Gods Joy.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Negatively Influenced

I can tell you that creating a positive life takes positive thoughts and hopes and dreams. In order to have a joyous life you have to feel joy. Etc....... It is easier said than done. Creating and magnificent life takes work. It takes the breaking of bad habits of negative thoughts. Daily negative routines. Constant barrage of bad sadness in our minds. Being around those negative people in our lives. Most of these people are in our own households. Some are around us like flies. We cannot seem to run from them. I know that most of you have issues with that when you read my advice. I know I have these issues. I have family and special people in my life that are always so negative and full of drama. All I can manage to do is hope that my positive example helps them realize. Every once in a while I lose my mind and speak my mind. Speak how I hate this and that what they are doing. I get so wrapped up in the drama I become just like them. I worry about all the crap that is going on. Instead of being a positive influence on them I add to their misery. Misery loves company. I have to check myself daily. I have to avoid these circumstances if I am not ready to be in front of it. I have to be ready mentally and emotionally for it. I can be weak and get caught up right in it. We have to train ourselves to stay on our course. We have to maintain that joy. In order to continually create a wonderful happy and joyous life we have to stay POSITIVE.
I watched myself dismantle. I fell apart at the seams. I encouraged the negativity. I added to the despair. Why? Because to begin with I went against my first instinct to stay away from the negativity. We have to listen to that inner voice. I know there are some moments where we have to take a stand. Or we think we have to say our peace. Just make sure when the peace is delivered it is peaceful. And when the term saying your piece doesn’t involve yelling or screaming that peaceful word to another. Saying your peace is just that. Expressing your love and concern over a certain matter and then finding a solution if need be.
So can we co-exist with family and friends who are negative 24/7? Yes I believe we can. We have to be very strong and full of love and light. We have to be that beacon of light and hope that they can rely on. If we are who we aspire to be in our joy then they can be as they are and feel very comfortable knowing that you are a pillar of strength. They can eventually stand beside you and celebrate their change and through your inspiration for them to create a better life. Things will change. 

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Today Is NOT Yesterday

As I sit here contemplating what to write as to be so smart and witty I wonder why sometimes I do this. I try and look through the other side of my words to the person that reads my writings. Why are they reading my thoughts? Are they getting any kind of comfort or re-assurance of something? Is for entertainment? I wonder why you are here.

Then I ask myself many more questions as I continue to write and suddenly realize....I am not writing for you or them. I am writing for me. I am writing because I need to. I need to let this shit out. I need to make sure that I am an open book. I need to be thankful for all that I have in my life from the smallest bit of joy. I need to let others know that the most important piece of pour lives we need to be thankful for is our joy. Our happiness. All the material things in the world cannot measure up to the joy few of us have in our lifetime. Pure joy. To me pure joy is being completely being happy where you are at in life.

 I look at the news and see that 80 some children were murdered from an unhappy person at their summer camp. What drives a person to such depths? Before and after that report there were other murders and missing mother’s daughter’s babies killed husbands shot in war families and towns being wiped out in the name of their God. And so on and so on. I turn on the TV and listen to 5 minutes. That is all it takes for me to go crazy with ugly thoughts. So I change the channel. Same thing on the next one. I turn off the TV. I stop myself from asking the same question. What is the world coming to? I do not want to waste time worrying about the impending catastrophe. 2012. If I waste my time worrying over 2012 and tonight was my last night to live because I was not aware that there was a banana peel waiting for me at the top of the staircase. I want to enjoy my life for the time I am so privilege to have. I want to enjoy this moment loving my family. I want to dream big. I want to love. I want to create artwork that makes me happy. I want to bring together colors that give life. Shapes that inspire thoughts of joy. I want to trigger that smile in someone where there was sadness. I want to inspire because paying back for the love that was bestowed my way by a community of artist had the love to share with me. To accept me as a brother. To call me an artist like them. To show me the gift that I suppressed most of my adult life. To help me realize that we are all artists at our core with the power to CREATE our lives as we want.

 I give back by writing to you the person reading this. I want to tell you how easy it is to be happy. How easy it is to make a choice. Make the conscious choice to turn off all the negative in your life and quit making excuses. We all know we have tragedy in our lives. We all know to expect death. Disease. Horrific situations we have to endure at some point. This is to be expected. Trauma is something that will ultimately be a part of our life. This we cannot control. We cannot control the actions of others. We can control our internal actions. We can control the decision we make to hate love cry mourn anger....we can control our emotion. Humans are resilient. We are strong. We have the capacity to calm in the face of adversity. We have the strength to feel joy again after our time of mourning for a loved one. We have the power to avoid falling apart when a tragedy occurs. We have the might in our character to bounce back and be positive and SEE ourselves stronger. Challenge yourself daily to find love in your daily journey. Challenge yourself to reach out to someone every day and encourage, inspire and love. Keep life simple.

Go to a children’s hospital and visit the terminal children dying from cancer and see how they are filled with joy and love. How can they feel that way with such physical odds? How can they love? Ask them. Tune out the negative and enjoy today. TODAY. Today is special because we have a chance to right yesterday’s wrong. Today we have a chance to feel joy. It is a new day.

Friday, July 15, 2011


My head hurts. Have you heard that before? Does your head really hurt? Is it a physical problem or stress induced? IF it is stressed induced...did you internalize something? Can we prevent the headache? Alot of questions. 

I had a conversation with someone very special today regarding the choices we make daily in our very fragile lives. We make the choice to waste a day worrying about the things in our lives we cannot control. We add to our miserable existence. In fact our existence is perfect in our creator’s eyes. We are capable of allowing ourselves to feel as much joy as we can take. Isn’t that what life is all about? In any situation we should be able to let that joy in. We only feel joy when we have that temporary fix or stimuli. Caffeine, sugar, shopping, beer, sex, chocolate. We always need something or someone we have to lean on to give us some validation or a blanky. We all have some vice we need to hold on to. We do not need any of this. I struggle every day to make sure my only choice to give me that special feeling that I searched for my entire life is within me. I am in control. I have the ultimate power over all. Yes I do. I can or not allow exterior situations or so called forces penetrate my joy. I remind myself to stand strong. 
LOL. Easier said than done. How do we do it? We tackle what we can control one at a time. We remind ourselves that what we cannot control is what we do not waste our energy on. Like the fear of death. We cannot control that. It WILL come. Our physical will end. YES. Don’t you forget it. But don’t let it haunt you. Whether it is from a car accident or a fall from the banana will come. Chances are if you have some sort of incident that caused a near death experience or accident you caused it. You put yourself in that situation. Example. 
I cannot control that my boss is an idiot. (My Boss is NOT an idiot). But i spent all night after I got home in a bad mood upset about the way this person is. I ignored my kids because I was too buzzed from the bar where I was unwinding because I needed a few drinks to escape the world I am in. So they are neglected. They in turn will develope a complex and wonder what they did wrong to upset me. They will turn to someone else for that missing attention. My wife is upset because I will not perform for her because I come home and I want to go to sleep. So. You know where that goes. I alienate my friends because I am too stressed out to pick up the phone and say hello. Then there is my eating habits and the laziness I feel. So I am too stressed out to work out and I prefer the comfort food. Late night snacks. Insomnia because I overthink what am I doing wrong to cause my boss to dislike me. Snowballing effect takes place in every area of my life. Use your imagination from this caption of my life all because I think my boss has some kind of vendetta against me. The truth is....My boss counts on me to do the job because I am the most reliable person he has. So he puts the most pressure on me and cannot trust anyone else. He is just the kind of person that does not show it because he is so busy with his own problems from his boss giving him shit. He is withdrawn and stressed out about his position but when he drives home he is thankful he has you in his corner. 
So. This is a long example. We create our own demise or our own joy. We are the ultimate creators of our life. Our creator has made a perfect being. We are perfect. We can receive his joy daily just by allowing that joy to just be because it is already there. We have so much going for us and the stimuli and joy we search for daily is within us. We are created in HIS image. Argue with me if you may. Go ahead and waste your time debating. Waste that precious moment you could be just agreeing and letting yourself be joyous and appreciate where you are and what you have. What you have is the time right now! What you have is the CHOICE to be happy. If you were told tomorrow is the last day here for you. BE happy. Be thankful you know it is your last day. Be appreciative that you have a date so you can plan the remaining days to Love. Well. Guess what folks. Today is my last day on earth. Today I die. Tomorrow I am reborn a new. Tomorrow I am given a new opportunity to love again. If it is given to me today is justified as tomorrow earned. If it is not given to me today was a treasure and I made the best of it. Either way we win. Only. Only if we choose to feel that Joy we already have in us. So. What is your excuse?

Friday, June 17, 2011

Our Creative Power

It happened again. I have been told by many people in my life, Mentors, Coaches, Ministers, City Leaders, and other successful influential people in my life, I can create my own reality by visualizing. Somehow after experiencing myself these phenomena...I still did not have 100 percent faith in the idea or philosophy. A few years ago I had a vision in the middle of my life of anxiety, depression and self pity, I was going to be successful and happy one day with regards to my art life. At this time in my life I was not creating much but for enjoyment in my garage. It was for time to get away from the world. I did not even want to show anyone for fear of rejection and ridicule. I guess as artists we all have that privacy factor. Not so much fear or just very personal to express yourself and for the first time a show in public. I did not let many people watch me not even my children. It was kind of intimidating to hear the criticisms even if they were positive encouraging ones. During this tumultuous time in my life I was having these visions. I was more feeling it than seeing it. I was feeling that my art was one day going to be seen by many and sought after by many. "Many" was a very questionable word at the time. Many people? What did that mean? Hoards of people? Room full of people? Calls from interested people? Showing in front of people? I guess it did not matter. For at the time one person was enough for me.

To date I have been public since October 2009. I have been seen by many people and have done quite a few shows. I have been interviewed and talked about by very influential people. My art has been purchase and is hanging in homes I could only dream of owning. I have met so many wonderful people in my connections. I have been regarded as a very unique artist. A pioneer in my niche. I love all of the attention. Not because of the attention so much. I am a very shy person at heart. Telling you that if you know me you would laugh. As a young man if you knew me that would be how you would describe me. When I express myself through my art I can be whoever and whatever I want to be. I can tell the story my way. I can be as passionate as I want to be and show the color I want. It is one area in my life I have total control. I thought it was the only area I had the control of. Now I know of another area I have total control of. I found this through my art. I have total control of creating my life.

God our creator gave us this gift to control creating all of our lives. He gave us this gift. All this time I thought the Good Book was exaggerating that we are created in his image. We are. He is should and spirit. Energy power and might. He is all universes. He created with thought. He thought it and then it was. We are of the same spirit. Yet we keep that part of our being doormat never getting to really know that side of us. That supersubconcious mind in us that is so powerful. We waste all of this power through a life time of worry doubt despair. We search for that special thing in our lives that will give us an answer and make us happy when all along it is with in us begging for us to release it. Release this unbridled power to create majesty. Create a world to fulfill and enlighten. We have all the answers of our purpose for ourselves, within us. All we have to do is slow down and be quiet.

I have been reading so much literature on this journey. My entire life I was different always searching reading exploring and trying to find answers. Even in my so called darkest hour I was wondering why true happiness escaped me. Why I could not let all the money and material things I had accumulated make up for the happiness I lacked inside. I had a great life. Wonderful children a beautiful wife. Yet I could not appreciate where I was at. I was still looking for more. That little thing that made that huge difference. Where was it? It was so depressing that I let my life blast by. Like a blink of an eye I am Older. My youth was gone. My skin was not as shiny and tight. I was older. Different. I did not recognize myself in the mirror. I saw myself standing before my art in my dreams thoughts and believing it was so. There was nothing in my life at that moment that could convince me this was not going to happen. Just as sure as death was certain one day it was certain to me that I would do my art and it was going to be big. I got a taste of it in a short frame of time last year. I am so thankful to all of those people who I have met and encouraged me. I went back to work after being laid off giving me the opportunity to create for most of the year. And these past few months I have been getting these visions again. They started small and very mild. Now I see it as death is certain. We know this for truth that we will die in flesh. I know for certain that I will be creating for wonderful people again. I will give people inspiration through my visual art. Through the creative process that I have a passion for. I see everyone who everyone is and it does not matter. I see it as the sun makes the night sky day. I see it and feel the happiness. I immediately have received calls from several people organizing shows and displays for events. I am getting calls from people from my travels by work. I have commitments to create works of art for companies. It is not coincidence. There are so many other incidents. I am creating my life all over again. I am reshaping my culture. I am rebuilding the legacy I will leave my children of honor and respect. I am rebuilding my life all over again. I am inspiring others to do so with my connections. I am inspiring. That is my dream Create 2 inspire always. Love, inspire, connect cry laugh be joyous of the life and power we have been given. Quit bitching and moaning of what you don’t have and what others have that you don’t have. Shit! Go and get some for yourself. Ask for it! Take it. Dream it. Be thankful what you already have and what you will receive because you see it already present in your life it just hasn’t showed up yet like UPS is a little late delivering it.

The one thing we can deliver immediately is joy, love and happiness. Have the gratitude that we can give you that gift of happiness. Look in the mirror and see the beautiful person you are inside and quit complaining. Take a deep breath and be thankful for the hard times you are going through and knowing that it is a building of character and you will be more appreciative of what you have when you get it. You will be more appreciative of the piece in your life and the quiet. Overcome the complaining and self doubt and create for yourself a life of positivity and confidence. Smile. Say hi to someone you do not know. Hug a family member that you have not forgiven. Let shit go. Open up. Live your life on your terms and not the world’s terms. If you don’t agree then stop reading this it is not for you. If you cannot relate stop wasting your time reading this crap and go look at pron. or shop and spend the money you don’t have. Go read the disastrous news. Go on facebook and comment negatively on someone. Email hate words to someone like you always do. Stick to your plan of self destruction and get the hell off I love you all.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

          Is it that hard to stay positive and give yourself the respect to create you art work? Do the social media and your environment prevent you from being open to the creativity that you long for? Is so hard to ignore the battle drum of the war we should be fighting against this world and its influences. As artists we need to be warriors. We need to attack this problem head on. This war is won on the battlefront. We wage this war in the creative mind. Our minds are captivated by this distraction. What a well-planned out distraction we endure. The orchestrator must be a genius.
         We wake up worried about being late to work and we skip breakfast. Breakfast should be a time to reflect. The morning should be a time to gather our thoughts and give ourselves a chance to endure the crap we will face. Then we get on the road and we face the violence of the roads and in our thoughts we struggle to keep that happiness and joy we are supposed to feel. We get to the place where we earn the funds to pay our bills. We are at work and some people work in environments that are not so friendly because they choose to stay there and have the notion that they have to be there because they cannot fathom the idea of doing something they love passionately for work. Work is over and we go home. Here we go again with the traffic. Damn traffic. So we lose ourselves in that mad race home. We get home and then we deal with all of our responsibilities at home. Whatever those are. Evening goes by so fast we are already tired from work. We sit down to relax for a minute and it turns into 3-4 hours of TV. Yes. TV. Our wonderful news telling us all the wonderful things that go on in our world. The newscaster smiles when they tell us of catastrophe, human suffering and any other horrible thing they can report on for their ratings. News is like an action movie, drama, and horror all in one. No comedy. No family news. Where are the positives? We are so addicted top this shit we sit their encapsulated. We eat like there is no tomorrow with you know what....chips dip and soda. 3-4 hours of this crap. And we are artists. But I am relaxing! I had to unwind. I am very tired to create. I had a long day. My kids take up my time (on the video games). My husband/wife is my focus. (In another room) there are so many things I have to do when I get home! Then it is late...oh shit I have to go to bed. It’s late! Ill create something tomorrow.
          Guess what the week went by and everyday was a duplicate of the prior. We are distracted and we do not see the point to this madness because there is no point. I am sure there is someone in a little room watching all of us guiding all these systems to keep us busy. Then there is the weekend. lol. I won’t even get into the waste of time we have for the weekend. Do we create? No. Our priorities are in order of course. Work, family, alcohol and then other stuff and then art. I know that sounds really rough. I am trying to be honest here. For some of us it is this extreme. We might have different ways to fill up the time in our heads, but it is all the same. We are focused on a system that keeps us away from us. US is what we are truly. We are not who we are supposed to be. We settle for a diverted happiness. We settle for happiness that is someone else’s happiness. We did not create our happiness we settled for happiness we stumbled upon and we settle for that reality. A reality that was not meant for us. We adopt this reality and let it consume us. Our true love and passion is put aside because of all of the above. If you are reading this blog then you are an artist. Your passion is art. You create. The passion we feel is so powerful but the distraction is more powerful. It is well thought out. I only touched on the small distraction. It is very deep. I generalized it. It is far more specific. Our awareness is key to stay focused. I have some wonderful friends who are artists and they are so focused. They lead full lives as well. They have children, jobs and loved ones they worry about and they have that focus. They find the precious time. That is how committed they are. As for you sitting there reading this blog pissed off and offended that I am directing this blog to artists only.....Yes I am directing it to artists only. guess what we are all artists. We all are creators of masterpieces. We are artists of this masterpiece called life. We go through the same process an artist does. We think it, imagine it, have a passion for it, plan it and then start creating. Sometimes it flows and it is there! Sometimes we have to work at it. But we are. And we are able to create the life we want. But in order to create in our precious lives anything and everything we want we have to have pure joy inside us. We have to master the war against the distractions. We have to totally be warriors. Warriors to fight that war. No excuses. We have to block that shit out. There are so many stories of tragedy lately. People have lost lives. People have lost loved ones. The people that are left standing that get to be interviewed about what material things they lost are so filled with gratitude and joy that they were spared their lives. They don't care much about the material things. They are ready to rebuild. We have to have this appreciation every day. Have the appreciation that we have. That we are. We have to live our days aware. Fight this battle in our minds. There is so much to live for. There is so much we have to experience. There are so many people that need love. Give them love but don't let them in. show them how to love but guard yourself from the negativity they carry. Create.

Friday, May 27, 2011

QUit feeling sorry for yourself and feeling sorry for others. Love one another but quit feeling that pitty party. We all have such a wonderful poiwer to be happy and yet we do not use this power. I always encourage my loved ones to learn how to create their happiness. And in essence we are all true artists because we create daily our truth. WE donot create the truth and is righteous about us but we surely create some truth about us that is exterior anyway. Our soul sometimes takes a back seat to what we really want to be. We do not listen to that inner voice of reason. WE aregue with ourselves and want to be happy but we decide to be miserable. We decide to be unhappy in our daily lives because we use excuses. Excuses to be unhappy. WE look in the mirror and we see the reflection. WE see a reflection that is distorted to begin with. We see a reflection that is backwards and shows us doing things the exactly opposing way that we are actually moving. Why do we judge so harshly others of the exterior when we do not see the beauty and perfection in our fellow human being. We are all connected in this earth and yet we choose to put each other down. Treat each other with disrespect. We wallow in our self pitty and blame everyone around us that is happy. Why cant we be happy. We also envy others and their lives because they seem to be happy. We waste time in  obsessing the lives of others it comes.....because they are happy. Why cant we just be happy for being happys sake. Why does there have to be a reason to be happy when all we have to do is stop everything and smile. Think of ONE thing that we can smile about in our lives. and dont smile that fake ass smile we smile when the photographer says cheese. A smile that comes from the soul. A joy. We need to feel joy. We need to truly feel the joy. We need to let the world see us vulnerable in our own skin. Vulnerable to laughter and happiness. Why is it that being happy is a lot harder work than being miserable. Well chances are that we know many people that are miserable and they use us to dump all their garbage. I do not mind listening. But now I listen just to listen. I do not use the opportunity to give them self pitty. I try to encourage and if they are not encouraged then I cannot do nothing for them. I can only show love and encouragement. I do not want to carry the loadthey have been carrying. It is heavy. They have been using that excuse to be unhappy and they want everyone around them to help them continue. They seem to think that that is the way they get attention. They would get more attention with love. Laughter and happiness. I talk to people and I tell them to forget their troubles and just turn the negative off like a switch, They say that is impossible. I tell them that they are wasting their lives. They say it is so much to get rid of. They tell me they have been unhappy for too long and they are used to it. and yet they complain of these problems all the time adding to it with depression and anxiety. They stress out so much it causes physical problems. I can go so many directions with this one. It is simple. We are wasting our time being unhappy because we are spending all our time complaining of how bad our lives are. We should be spending our precious time being happy. If we decide to wast ethe day upset and arguing with loved ones then we die that same day.....we leave our families with the bad memories. We create destiny for them based on our last actions. We waste our last day in that worthless self pitty. Wake up and smile. Feel joy. Change the way of thinking and love your neighbor. Sound corny. Ok. Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself and waste your days. I am just saying.                                                                      

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What Was I thinking Again?

It is funny how writers block happens. I am so excited to write something all day. I live it and breathe it. I talk about it to myself all day and then I go crazy because I need to write it down and I cannot because I am at work and focused on the task at hand. So many thoughts build up endlessly over and over and layers upon layers of ideas. I mull over which idea I will write first. I get more excited and anxiety sets in because I wonder if people will get what I write. All of the sudden I think of all the criticism I might face and then I cry because my freaking head hurts. So I start making myself feel better and encourage myself in the mirror all while I find the time to see my image in the mirror and think of all these horrible outcomes to someone reading what I write. I could be creating my thoughts for everyone to read. And then when I finally get or make time to write after I am in my room or calmed down…I forget it all. So I start the whole process over again. This time because I cannot remember all the wonderful things I had to say in the first place. Wonderful encouraging words that can make a difference in artists lives. Words that can be healing to a creator and maybe that one person that has not created in such a long time that he or she just needed the right word to help them just get in front of their creative tool and give of their soul to the world. In the end of all of this process I just sit and write what I feel like if I am talking to someone. Someone special that needs my advice. I write like I am having a conversation with people I meet every day that have a problem or a concern about something that I can relate to and I have an opinion about it. Whether or not they can relate to my opinion is not my problem but theirs. Writing is just another expression and an art itself. I paint and create my works of art on my metal and whether or not if someone can relate to it or not I will continue to create it as long as God allows me to breathe and stay alive with enough strength to create. I will write in the same way and give of my soul translating that passion in my writings. I love people. All people even the assholes I meet. They are beautiful souls. They are just lost. Once you penetrate those exteriors and get past the shit they will open up and be so interesting. Sometimes we complain that people do not give us a chance to talk to them. But…do we give them a chance? Can we honestly say we eliminated all the excuse they can throw at us to justify the way they act towards us? Do we include them in our conversations? Are we genuine and loving when we are around them? Do we greet them even though they do not reciprocate? Do we think “I am not kissing their ass” so I will just ignore them kind of attitude? Do we call ourselves loving honest Christian folk only when it is comfortable? Do we say we are righteous when it does not hurt? Are we good moral people only when people are able to hear and see us but in private with our loved ones what is the truth? LOL how funny. All this shit goes on in my head and I grind my teeth because I love people so much. I am so empathetic towards people it affects my health. I have people that I really love that say hurtful things to me and I listen to them put me down how I am this way or that way and yet they have not looked in the mirror and explore the possibility that the reason I am the way I am is because they have created that situation in their own heads. Of by the way…I AM a piece of shit. I know I am. I do not hide from that truth. So don’t call me a hypocrite. BUT. I love you. Each and every one of you idiots. If I can touch your heart with my writing and paintings then I will be happy the rest of my life. Don’t even tell me about it. It doesn’t matter whether I know or not. We are all connected and in one way or another through an indirect way we will affect change in each other’s life directly or indirectly. So what is your excuse today? Why didn’t you create? LOL

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Love Idiots

It is funny how writers block happens. I am so excited to write something all day. I live it and breathe it. I talk about it to myself all day and then I go crazy because I need to write it down and I cannot because I am at work and focused on the task at hand. So many thoughts build up endlessly over and over and layers upon layers of ideas. I mull over which idea I will write first. I get more excited and anxiety sets in because I wonder if people will get what I write. All of the sudden I think of all the criticism I might face and then I cry because my freaking head hurts. So I start making myself feel better and encourage myself in the mirror all while I find the time to see my image in the mirror and think of all these horrible outcomes to someone reading what I write. I could be creating my thoughts for everyone to read. And then when I finally get or make time to write after I am in my room or calmed down…I forget it all. So I start the whole process over again. This time because I cannot remember all the wonderful things I had to say in the first place. Wonderful encouraging words that can make a difference in artists lives. Words that can be healing to a creator and maybe that one person that has not created in such a long time that he or she just needed the right word to help them just get in front of their creative tool and give of their soul to the world. In the end of all of this process I just sit and write what I feel like if I am talking to someone. Someone special that needs my advice. I write like I am having a conversation with people I meet every day that have a problem or a concern about something that I can relate to and I have an opinion about it. Whether or not they can relate to my opinion is not my problem but theirs. Writing is just another expression and an art itself. I paint and create my works of art on my metal and whether or not if someone can relate to it or not I will continue to create it as long as God allows me to breathe and stay alive with enough strength to create. I will write in the same way and give of my soul translating that passion in my writings. I love people. All people even the assholes I meet. They are beautiful souls. They are just lost. Once you penetrate those exteriors and get past the shit they will open up and be so interesting. Sometimes we complain that people do not give us a chance to talk to them. But…do we give them a chance? Can we honestly say we eliminated all the excuse they can throw at us to justify the way they act towards us? Do we include them in our conversations? Are we genuine and loving when we are around them? Do we greet them even though they do not reciprocate? Do we think “I am not kissing their ass” so I will just ignore them kind of attitude? Do we call ourselves loving honest Christian folk only when it is comfortable? Do we say we are righteous when it does not hurt? Are we good moral people only when people are able to hear and see us but in private with our loved ones what is the truth? LOL how funny. All this shit goes on in my head and I grind my teeth because I love people so much. I am so empathetic towards people it affects my health. I have people that I really love that say hurtful things to me and I listen to them put me down how I am this way or that way and yet they have not looked in the mirror and explore the possibility that the reason I am the way I am is because they have created that situation in their own heads. Of by the way…I AM a piece of shit. I know I am. I do not hide from that truth. So don’t call me a hypocrite. BUT. I love you. Each and every one of you idiots. If I can touch your heart with my writing and paintings then I will be happy the rest of my life. Don’t even tell me about it. It doesn’t matter whether I know or not. We are all connected and in one way or another through an indirect way we will affect change in each other’s life directly or indirectly. So what is your excuse today? Why didn’t you create? LOL

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I Wish I COuld.....

Ok lets talk about it for a bit. Positive attitude. Does it afect our art? I think it does. If we have a negative attitude we can use our art to bring us out of it by creating something beautiful. But on the other hand if we are negative to the point where we are angry could that impede our creativity? Yes I think so on that point as well. CAn we create better art work with either? I guess it depends on the person. Im confused. SO should I make myself agry sad and depressed so I can create a certain color scheme? Or should I get high or something to make myself create something out of this world. The laughing process also triggers the release of dopamine (your body’s version of morphine). It’s the same chemical, released in response to torture of the body, that causes the “runner’s high”. And, most people find laughing more fun than running a marathon. LOL. SO...we can laugh while we are painting and get high in the process. SO there is something to be said for having a positive attitude and being happy all the time. Or at least most of the time. Why not all of the time? Well..let us face it there is something we call life and all of it's events. Death, sickness, tragedy....etc..

We have to give of ourselves as artists. We have to feed our soul if we want to maintain an insane level of happiness and positivity. Sometimes in our life we are put into positions where we think are ridiculous. Or are they? Did we ask for these situations or did they randomnly happen to us? I think we ask for shit all the time. To tell you the truth most of our life's problems or situations are a direct reflection of our decisions and thought process. We ask for it enough we get it. If I worry so much about getting in an accident and worry worry to the point of obsession with worry over it. Guess what.....WAMMO it will happen. I know. Doubt. But true. I saw myself an artist. I had not ever done a show for my life or been a part of any art related function and I created myself a life full of artist friends and now I have a wonderful network I can reach out to. I am an artist. I was unhappy with myself in job situation. Thinking of the unhappiness and the rut. It was a great paying job but I was not happy. I saw myself doing something more rewarding. I craved it. I envisioned it. I cried over it. I dreamt it. Make a long story short....I am in a job where I could only dream about and love it. I meet new people and get a chance to touch others lives. I am touched by others. Not physically of course. For now I am here.

I created my own life. My children see me happy. All of the people closest to me that knew of my emotional state of mind see the change. All because I had enough and saw myself in change. Appreciated where I was at the moment and was patient. Thanked God for giving me what I had all these years. Appreciated what he brought me. But I asked for a change and knew it would happen. It did. People always say..." Life IS Not Perfect" Yes it can be. It can be as perfect as you want it to be. It can deliver a perfect answer to your request. It can become a perfect cause in effect to what you see in your heart soul and mind. Think about it for a minute. Do you daydream of what you can be or want to be? After you daydream do you walk towards the dream even if it is a small step towards touching that dream into reality? Or do you just sit back and watch it like a movie fantasy that can never happen because of your alledged limitations? LOL.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Boo Hoo

WE all have the life long ability to become who we want to be. I do not care who you are and what excuse you give me. There are circumstances that re direct our paths and I think for the most part we allow these incidents to discourage us from improving and head towards that goal of what we want to achieve. As artists we have road blocks that come in artistic form. We find ourselves searching for new and fresh ideas, We worry about what others think of our work. If we create our art for supporting our livelihood then we become filled with anxiety if we don't measure up financially to accommodate our needs. Then we set ourselves up for failure. Then we turn our passion into a serious negative part of our life we dread. We call it work. Some artists get caught In a trap and turn their passion into work. Hard work. Like going to the dentist. Waking up dreading the thought that we have to create new and fresh ideas to make the public happy. Or worse creating what the public wants day after day and having someone direct your creativity. How do we lose this control? How does someone lose control of their happiness? They allow it. We never lose control. We choose to. We choose to kill ourselves and turn our work into something we despise. instead of the passion and fire for our creative process we have a discontent and resentment for the public because the picky pickys want a certain color or imagery. where am i going down this path? I am explaining how not to turn your passion into work. How to in fact turn your work upside down and make it your passion. Whatever you do in life make a point to go through the process day by day with a fire! Create with a fire. love in your heart.Think of the people you will make happy with what you create. The human spirit is worth it. The love of making someone connect with your piece is a wonderful emotion. Transform yourself into a creator of emotion through your art. Practice creating at work. Create happiness in your work environment and feel good about what it is you do. It does not matter what. wake up and see our environment as a palette. We have so much to create from as artists. See life as inspiration. Positive energy is always flowing and we as artists have to capture that in our daily lives to create our masterpieces. We have to be confident to create and filling ourselves up with happiness is a very natural way to inspire ourselves. I know., Sounds like a crock of shit. If you know me you will understand my thinking. If you don't know me.... It doesn't matter. If you want to continue with your miserable boo hoo existence go right ahead. Do not read my blog. Don't send me your negative comments. Quit sending me your pitiful excuses of why. Instead use that energy flip it and be happy. Use that anger and malnutrition of happiness and look in the mirror and force yourself to love your self. Then get your brush, pen, paper, canvas camera, pencil whatever you use and create yourself something that you love and it doesn't matter if it disgusts are happy.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Inspiration comes in many forms. We receive inspiration through what we see mainly. Most artists need to be visually stimulated in order to create a piece. They need to see the colors and textures they would love to apply to their piece. Some crop and arrange photographs to get the form and idea they are looking for. Music also plays into inspiration for some. Some artists put on their favorite music and it seems to direct the shapes and color of their mood. A different genre of music can change the size and shape of the piece. I know when I am listening to punk or some kind of rock group or set of music it gives me bright colors and hard edges. My boldness comes out. I feel alive so my pieces come out very vivid. IF I listen to classical music I feel a sense of calm and my pieces tend to come out very relaxing and soothing colors. Soft edges and flowing lines. Not so erratic. You get the idea. Music can dramatically change the look of the piece.

I know of artists that use drugs as a way of inspiring them to create a more colorful piece. They are releasing their fears and limiting themselves. All their artistic inhibitions are removed and they feel free to use any and all forms of creativity without fear. The farthest I have delved into that sort of inspiration or at least I can say it was more like an aid. I had the idea but I needed to relax. Same thing. I used alcohol. Still a drug. But tamer than say..crack or something. It is not any more or less morally wrong. It still alters one senses. It is still considered a drug. I have been able to recently get myself into that state of mind where I feel like I am high by the happiness I fill myself up with. Appreciation that I can create. The chemical our body injects naturally from being happy is like a drug. It is so powerful and strong it can sustain you for longer periods of time. Our mind consciousness can take form and thought or feeling we want convincingly directing our moods. We can believe anything we want and we are so powerful that it can actually materialize. Ok. I don't even understand what I just wrote.

Inspiration also can come from pain. Art can be used in a therapeutic way. We can release al the stress in our lives by creating. In this way our art tends to carry the subject matter of how our pain was passed on to us reading more like a dream sequence. We can tell a lot of an artists by looking at their works. We sometimes get so wrapped up in our pain that we are blinded by it and that is all we have to hold on to and we feel comfort from keeping that pain. It is like an addiction. We feed off of that hurt and sub-consciously we feel like it is a part of our being. This is untrue. We do not need it. It doesn't belong. \

There are other senses we use to inspire our creativity that trigger imagery and ideas. Our touch and smell. We can feel texture and feel inspired to incorporate that into our pieces as an interesting addition to a piece. We can take a deep breath of fresh air in the morning and feel compelled to create. We can smell natures scent and be inspired to paint the countryside or a beautiful smelling flower. Or smell death and create something gothic and scary. I know I am rambling like I usually do...but you get the point. We do not need to be so narrow minded to think our only inspiration comes from looking at pictures online. Get out and see the world with all your senses and explore your creative side. Feel compelled to create from life. It is all around us. We just have to open up.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

With the world always seeming to fall apart around us I always can count on the art in my soul to keep me inspired and positive. Lately it seems as if everything seems so dismal and saddening. I have found peace within the walls of my artistic fortress. I can be on a plane on the way to work and feeling down because I hear conversations from the other passengers that the sky is falling and yet If I start a conversation with my fellow passenger sitting next to me never fails to amaze me that art is a apart of our conversation. I always have a wonderful chat regarding creativity of some sort. Our lives need uplifting and what better way of lifting our mood up than to talk about art.

We as humans are always facing catastrophic events. History never escapes recording such frightening times in our journey where lives are lost and scores of souls are released from their bodies. Where do they go? Only God knows. We are here. We as in all who can read my words. The handful of you that have decided to share my thoughts. Thank you. With all that is going on how do you expect to stay so grounded and positive in your lives? With all the tragedy how can we manifest our lives into something we can hand off to our children. Is there a beautiful silver lining to all of this nonsense? Some venture to say that it is the earth itching and change will cause change in our world. Cataclysmic events of huge proportions, the human factor deciding change for their future. Freedom abound! What direction is it going? I don't know. All I know is my children look to me for some kind of awe inspiring answer. All I can say is feel and stay positive. All we can say is that. See yourself being and feeling happy. Look at where you want to be tomorrow and dream. Cry laugh. Desire to be happy daily! If tragedy hits your doorstep? what steps did you take to avoid it? Were you living a paranoid life worrying all the time about things that might or might not happen? Was your thought process thinking of ways to avoid tragedy? Were you preparing for the worst and planning for plan B? Was your time consumed with when we have that big event? I wish and hope it never comes! Or ..Or Were you seeing yourself happy and appreciating every moment with loved ones. Enjoying the time you do have and smiling instead of frowning. Laughing instead of being angry. Singing instead of complaining. We all have a choice to turn the script and flip the result. We do not have to have such a dramatic life and yet if drama ensues then we need to be courageous and be happy. Truly happy.

It is easier said than done I always am told that I am living a fantasy now and sometimes I let it sink in that being happy is false. I have walked away from relationships and conversations in my life that sicken me and make me unhappy. I limit my contact with these people and try to focus on being happy inside out trying not to fake being happy from the outside hiding what really is inside. I try and match the mood to reflect my heart. I reach out to people that are positive to help me get our of it. My art is always a good way to exercise thanks. My gift. I love to express myself to others by giving them art to love. I love to show my appreciation in my art. So many artists are selfish and they do not give themselves a chance to experience this love and feedback from others. We as artists are natural creators. We create artworks to give life to an image or an idea. We then create love with our works in people. People give birth to inspiration from our works. They feel emotion and give life to happiness in their hearts. It is infectious. People next to them want to know why they are happy...Art made them happy. Someone else's creation inspired them to smile. To cry with joy that someone connected with them though their works.

We as artists need to carry that responsibility. It is not hard. All we do is create and create. Show our work to the world and the rest will take care of itself. If you think you are not adequate then think again....We all have different tastes and uniqueness about us. We all connect to different foods flavors and tastes. We all have a certain preference in things. As such our choice for art. We all have a connect. We all are different in that regard as well. What you might paint today might not connect with someone in the moment but later your piece will talk volumes to another soul. Continue to create. Be a responsible creator and let people love you. Love others through your creativity. Open up and be seen.