Wednesday, April 29, 2015

7 Qualities of Unhappy People

Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

1. Your default belief is that life is hard.

Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with an attitude of curiosity versus victim-hood. They take responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it as soon as possible.
Perseverance towards problem-solving versus complaining over circumstances is a symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus finding a way through and out the other side.
2. You believe most people can't be trusted.

I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves and meet new people with an open heart.
Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends.
3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.

There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but".
Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right.
4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.

Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own. They believe there's not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment.
Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve. Happy people believe they carry a unique blueprint that can't be duplicated or stolen from -- by anyone on the planet. They believe in unlimited possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking one person's good fortune limits their possible outcome in life.
5. You strive to control your life.

There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals. Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there's very little control over what life throws their way.
Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.
The key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting sh*t happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry- because they will. Going with the flow is what happy people have as plan B.
6. You consider your future with worry and fear.

There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.
Happy people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy people fill that head space with constant worry and fear.
Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they're spinning in fear and they lay it down.
7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.

Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say, they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.
Happy people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something they're working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the possibilities of life.
Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we work to get ourselves out. Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy people apart from unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly.
Walk, fall down, get back up again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference resides.

Pay It Forward!

So what do you do if you are always happy and things seem to always still be challenging in life? If everything you do seems to still take you to a dead end. If the world is ending despite your positive attitude. I do not recall anyone so happy and positive that has had a bad life experience.

I see some people come down with end of life illnesses and have an amazing experience in their last days. Reconnect with loved ones lost. Experience times that filled them with completeness. Gave their family and friends loving last memories of them. We all have something good to give each other in any time of our life. We all can be so giving of ourselves and make someone feel empowered by the gift of love you offer. There is enough to go around. All you have to do is turn to your flank and smile. Give a hello. Compliment someone. Wave to the beggar. If you cannot afford to support him smile. Greet a co-worker. smile at the cash register person.  Let a person in your lane once in a while. Wave at the person that lets you in their lane even if they flip you off. Say thank you. Open the door for someone.

Small things that will in turn give you a greater chance of having that reward of joy. Change your attitude towards people. wish well not bad. Do you get what I am saying here? KARMA is a bitch that never forgets and she loves revenge!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Perceptions

Perceptions are everything in life. How we perceive what is seen heard and felt, emotionally and physically. We should not be quick to judge. There are some situations that are not quite as they seem on the surface when we are on the outside looking in. We have to take a step back at times and assess the situation. If you are interested in drama and controversy then that message is not for you to adhere to. You will be always quick to judge. You will hang someone for a fart tagging it a Chernobyl event. For those of you that do not know history...an ultra tragic event causing death and destruction, contamination, fear etc..... 

I try to be careful when listening to people vent to me to not quickly judge the situation or the person they are speaking about. I go into the situation with an open mind listening to the facts. I want to fully support a loved on or a friend making sure my focus is on them. I cry with them, I laugh with them...I do not give bandwagon opinions. I just listen.We need to be as subjective as possible when dealing with peoples personal lives. Perceptions are everything. We see what we choose to see in life. We make our assumptions based on the way we feel about the world. Right now the news is playing a critical role in our society and they are shaping the opinions of our children by what they report and how they report it. In most cases they are just taking a picture. We make the assumption based on the image we see on the screen. The media produces commentaries from a bias point of view based on the stations agenda. Are we educated enough in a popular opinion to watch? What is another source of information that gives us options? The internet? The internet is driven by our preferences. WE do not go to the RIGHT search query for the correct opinion..... We choose what feels good, what stimulates us. I would hate to describe what most men and women search for as a source for information. Our external influences as children are the environment we are raised in. We are shaped there.

Parenting. All of our perceptions are formed in the early years. Our bad habits are carried over to our children. We are the cycle. We watch and view what we created. If we sit by and blame others for the state of affairs in our surroundings, Can we do anything about what has already been created? We change our perceptions. We change the way we treat one another. One by one we love one another. We teach our children and grandchildren the right way to live. The right way to live is to just love one another. The rest takes care of itself. I honestly believe that. At least we can start there and open a dialogue of peace. If nothing else we begin to heal by getting along. So many wrongs can be undone by taking on that philosophy.

I wrote some entries yesterday and everyone was messaging me asking me if I was OK, if I was upset, if my life was in shambles....Yes my life is in shambles, I am happy and I am choosing everyday to be grateful. If you have followed anything I have written before I have written stronger entries and it is all to maybe help someones perception of life. I want to help you by anything I can trigger in you to love and appreciate one another and love. I write to heal. If I can reach one person I have succeeded. The hell with the rest of you! I love you!

Monday, April 27, 2015

You Suck but I Love You!

I'm Happy. It does not mean I am perfect. I am thankful for everything I  have in my life. I have my family intact and I have not lost anyone recently. I enjoy every moment with my family. I struggle internally with a myriad of thoughts and perceptions. I have tried my whole life to love unconditionally and yet I seem to overwhelm myself with expectations I put on myself. In the past I have blamed myself for all the challenges that have changed the direction and path I was on. Now I know it is under my control. The mystery is how do we steer ourselves into the situation we desire most? That is the challenge. I never cared about material objects or money. I have always focused on the spiritual and love side of things. I do not do well with controlling personalities. I have allowed my past to dictate my perceptions of the word control and what level is deemed controlling. Those lines are blurred in my mind and I do not have a clear idea what is too much and what is toxic. I have hurt people that I have shared a relationship with(friends, family and etc..). I can only reflect on the lessons learned and not the loss. I can only appreciate the experience I had and not mourn the mistakes and hurt I have caused. I can only love and hope and pray the people I shared special moments and experiences with will continue to be happy  and experience an abundant and joyous life. Go forward is all I can do. I often reflect on the pain as a strengthening of character I can hold on to and overcome my fears. I recently reflected on all my pain, loss and hurt in my life. I wrote it all down and highlighted in an effort to organize and put it all into perspective. A wonderful person once told me , "We are all in each others life for a moment to serve a purpose for one another. Sometimes the moment is long and sometimes the moment is short. God allows interactions and doesn't allow for a purpose." I pray that I do not burn in hell and rot in dogshit and be unhappy the rest of my life, live in the bowels of animal feces, experience pain and unhappiness the rest of my life....all of this has been wished upon me by people I have caused unhappiness to. So many more comments that I cannot describe for they were said in anger and disgust for having the bad experiencing of knowing me. I can only hope that forgiveness is in their hearts but to be honest I cannot control what others think. I cannot dwell on their opinion of me and my mistakes. I can only not give a shit for their negative thoughts of me and move on. I am a better person today than I was yesterday. I do mourn for the hurt I have caused but I have also been hurt in a time. I have forgiven all. I love all. Maybe there is one percent I have not resolved. I can live with that. If there is a purpose for this rant of mine is this......

Live your life free of sadness, guilt, fear and negativity. Be empowered every day and love one another. I only write my rants out of love for everyone. I cry every night as a way of releasing the bullshit people and the world try and put on me. I cleanse myself nightly of all the bad Karma I might have put on myself in the past and probably as recent as today. I cleanse myself by helping someone and loving everyone. If you hate me then I love you. If you want to cause pain to me and my family and friends I love you. If you cannot forgive me and continue to hurt me...I love you. I will not reduce myself to lower myself to say "fuck you" I will only love you. In my heart I will love you...externally I might blurt out a hypocritical statement like....all the bad words in the world and direct them at that person or situation...But I am human. We cannot allow ourselves to point at one another with the hand that always has 3 fingers pointing back at ourselves. We cannot portray ourselves as perfect when in the mirror we look at ourselves and know that the realization is that we suck. Quit your bitching and moaning, get on with your life and be happy for a change. Truly be happy inside out....not just a smile for everyone to see the side show called YOU.

I love all of you and especially YOU.

Forgiveness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.
Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.

But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:
  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Higher self-esteem
  • Reduce injury to your knuckles from punching that wall. 

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you're unforgiving, you might:
  • Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
  • Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present
  • Become depressed or anxious
  • Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs
  • Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

How do I reach a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:
  • Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
  • Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
  • Actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you, when you're ready
  • Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

Friday, April 24, 2015

My Positive Rant

We give of ourselves everyday and expect someone to notice. We love and expect love in return. WE cry and expect someone to console us and show us attention. I say Love unconditionally and expect nothing in return. I say Cry, Laugh and expect love to be received. Sometimes people appreciate quietly. Sometimes we are examples to people that are afraid to express themselves. Sometimes we are a light and a beacon for someones darkness. We are looked upon by someone else and we should not disappoint. We have to remember children do not have a voice. People living in fear and depression are quiet. We need to laugh, Love, enjoy everyday and Give of ourselves to one another. Make up for each others weaknesses and call each other brother and sister in this world we live in we are equal. Equally alone in the large vast universe. We are all connected through that entity called Love. Did I lose half of you? Let me break it down another way....... Quit complaining and be mindful if you have the capacity to understand this post you can understand how to love unconditionally and quit your bitching and moaning. Live your days positive. CHOOSE to be happy.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I Love You All

There is so much to say since I have last been on this blog. I did not forget about it I just did not have anything to say. I know certain people read this and I want to make sure I am as positive as I can be and encouraging with sincerity. I do not want to be hypocritical in my writings.

We are all in an experience for a limited period of time while we are alive. We have a daily task to accomplish. Each of us has their own agenda and task to complete. I sincerely hope we all have discovered what we are here for. I have known my "calling" since I was a very young person. I love people and helping people. I am in a position at my job where I can make a difference in peoples life every day. I can only make a difference if I am approachable. I can only make a difference if I am willing to humble myself in front of people. I started this blog initially to help people overcome their fears in expressing themselves in art. I wanted to share to everyone how to create their own courage to express themselves without fear. This blog evolved into a discussion on how to create our lives. Create like an artist would. Dream of the image, and then create it. We do that on a daily basis.

We are creators of our own lives. If we focus on stressful situations we become the situation. If we have faith to overcome eventually it will be overcame. WE are always so resilient as humans. We seem to find a way. I am so confident that we were given this birthright to be as strong as the entity or power that created us. WE just have to tap into that power that rests in us. We have to awaken that force we have inside and use it daily to create. Create a world that is amazing and wonderful.

In the past I would worry for all the bad that "could" happen that eventually bad would follow. I would be in such a despair of all the bad things happening to me that was my focus. Am I saying that we are the cause of everything in our lives? All I am saying is that we can raise the odds in our favor with more faith than what we work with at present. We can surely have a fighting chance if we do not worry for what is in store and appreciate what is in front of us. For all that happens in our experience is for the good. We are always overcoming and character always gets stronger when we overcome challenges. It is like lifting weights. we get strong with the heavier weights we lift.

I want to use this platform to reach people and convey positive words to maybe help and encourage. I would like to be a small voice in your ear that reminds you we are all going through the same journey and we can lean on our fellow human brother or sister for support. It is possible to live in a world of compassion amongst the shit hole of the world. We just need a place or group to trust.

Ill be back.