Friday, August 27, 2010

im still here. i am still giving it my all. we all struggle at times to keep our passion for creating. we want to create all the time. sometimes our lives take priority over our passion. that thing that we love to do for ourselves. that interest we have that gives us hope to be ourselves. most of us are in a job or situation that does not match what our dreams were as children. we dreamed of being something larger than life. or at least we dreamed of doing something in our lives that made us happy everyday. we might be have accepted our current situation and find happiness in it.....but we all had dreams. my dream was to be an artist.

i spent a lifetime of visiting that dream here and there. just as quickly as i dreamed i had to forget about it because of my fears. recently i tackled my fears and embarked on my journey as an artist. it has been a life changing event for sure. my life is completely different right now than it was a year ago. a year ago i could only laugh at the idea that i would be referred to as danny the artist. it is hard work. it is not easy. it takes sacrifice and commitment. i almost gave it up a few days ago....because of those fear coming back. self doubt. but because i have immersed myself around people that are like minded artists who are so positive and are committed to being artists for the love of it and no other reason.

my journey has taken me through so many changes in my persona. it has forced me to re evaluate who i am and how i look at life. an artist at any level cannot have clutter in their minds. we have to be clear of what we want to create and have a purpose to why we create. in order to create passionately we have to be honest with ourselves. look in the mirror and create! in the end....i cannot stop creating this time. i will work it out. i will create for the sake of creating but i will not give up. i love all of you that support me.

Artistic Depression

Do you get depressed sometimes because you cannot seem to create anything? Does your emotion of the day and feeling rest on whether or not you can get something out of your head to manifest into a painting or piece of work? I seem to slip into a funk really fast when I cannot create my work. Lately I have not been happy with my results of what I create. It seems to snowball from there. The days go by really fast. I do not create anything from which I thought of. I look at images for inspiration and use reference as my subject rather than create something from my soul. I feel fake and do not feel worthy of people looking at my art because of the fear that they will see right through me.

I am Stuck!

I wish I had been given the instruction booklet from God on how to be an artist. I am stuck. I started out of the gate strong and now I am stuck. I know it is temporary as I search my soul for some inspiration...but .....Painting for the sake of painting is so hard. Creating something very deep takes a very special energy. That passion has to be present when we create. We cannot just turn that shit on like a light switch. It has to be overwhelming. Like falling in love. We cannot just settle for someone we feel we can get along with for the rest of our lives. We have to be head over heels for that person. What we create has to feel natural. It has to flow. It might be hard work....but it flows. It might have its challenges....but it is a very passionate grind we enjoy. Like exercise....we know it hurts but the results are amazing!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Does Love Affect Our Creativity?

the rollercoaster of emotions we feel when we are in love is very confusing at times. yes it feels good to be so close to someone and feel that joy of someone loving you back. but it can be tiresome at times. trying to please them. worrying about keeping them happy. in my mind it should be effortless shouldnt it? if you are truly in love with your so called soulmate shouldnt it be easy? as an artist i create my works with all my heart and emotions. i am very passionate when i start my pieces. since i have started to paint i have become a cry baby. i cannot explain it. i really have to be in a special place when i think of the color i will be using. i try and block everything out so i can go with the theme of he piece instead of the theme of what i am feeling at the time. as much as a give effort to doing this my pieces always will reflect what i was feeling at the time i created the piece. i am starting to really re think this process now. i am finding if i try to paint the opposite of what i feel then it will look rushed or fake. something is missing. i look at my imagery now as an extension of my soul. i always have. but now it is really taking a shape not like before. i am learning that now this canvas(metal) is now the window to my heart and soul. the colors will feel warm with happiness, dark with sadness bright with positivity. i am finding that when i release the negative through my work it is powerful. if i depict happiness in my colors it encourages me with good energy that lasts. love is a very powerful tool when painting. it makes everything brighter, darker, rich in color, painfully rough when sad. love can be channeled through our work if we listen to our heart. corny? might be. then again if that is what you think then close this page and bye bye. 

Friday, August 20, 2010

Pressing Forward in Full Color

Ill make it short this time. I now I can get really lengthy in my rants. I was told in the very beginning from someone they enjoyed my blog but that I should not blab too much. LOL. Do not read it! Gee wiz. How funny is that someone telling me how to write my blog. I get it though...if I am looking for regulars to make them catchy and interesting full of content of value to the reader. I guess that is when I was trying to make a blog for Google Adsense. At this point I do not even care. All I care is that I say what I have to say about the art scene that maybe an artist thinks and feels the same about that maybe they cannot seem to find the nerve to say. I have nothing to lose. I am happy painting now. I wanted so bad to be a part of that wonderful art world and be well known and respected. Guess what!? It is just like anywhere else in life. There is the few that make the experience a challenging one. There are people that have so much pull and they are the major influence....if you are not in good with these people they can really make your life hard. They will bad mouth you. It does not make a difference how nice your work is. You just have to stay clear of these people and smile, have a wonderful great attitude about it and find a place or group that will accept you and encourage you. It is much easier when you can relate to other artists who have the passion you have. It is so refreshing when there are genuine people that you can sit and talk about how lovely life is creating and enjoying your gift with others. This is the amazing part of being an artist.

Angry Creator.Happy to be FREE

there are so many excuses i have been making for not painting letely. some of the excuses i blame on family members and friends and other people. some of the excuses i blame on my situation in my life. some of the excuses i just make out of no where. but the real reason i have not been creating lately because i have been trying to sell out and i do not have the stomache to. i am an artist who is so proud of the freedoms we share to create and thrive in our self expression. i am always telling people to savor the gift they have while they have it and respect it by creating with their heart. i am such a hypocrite because i am not following my mantra. it is just like a blogger or a preacher or anyone who is trying to inspire others. they inspire others to do what they are not doing. like a parent living their life through their children. having them do all the things they did not have the courage to do when they were children teens or young adults. when i was a child i had dreams of becoming an artist. i had dreams of living the artists life creating what i wanted even though i would not be that picasso or michaelangelo. i had big dreams. then i left home. i left home at 17 scared and running. leaving my dreams behind. for the next 20 something years i lived my life. raised children became a grandfather....not happy with my choices in life regarding my career. or at least not doing something i loved. i do not regret the path i have taken. what i do regret is not integrating my love for art in my life as a commitment to myself. instead i was afraid to expose that side of me for fear of rejection.

the new me. fuck you. i will paint what i want and create what i want. i will show anyone and everyone and enjoy every waking moment and create pieces that i enjoy creating. they might disgust the world and not sell but i will create that shit anyway. i have been creating in hopes of impressing people. i have been following the advice of some pretty vicious people who do not give a shit about me or what i want to create. they do not care if they know me today or tomorrow. all they care about is their status in this art scene they are in. i have also met some wonderfully talented artists that care about me so much they are willing to take the shirt off of their back to help me. i love these people. they matter to me. some of these people sell their work some dont. and they dont even care. yes they need to make a living but....and a big but....they want to live their life doing something they love and they will do it their way. i am self taught...that means i have no clue as to what the fuck i am doing when i pick up the brush. i do not have a clue as to who created what style or a way of doing things. all i care is that i pick up my brush, spray can, grinder, glue, rusted metal and make something that moves someone. i will give the shit away to make you happy. i do not really care. i love the feeling of seeing someone that looked at my work and actually cried,  laughed, screamed, yelled, any emotion here will do. as long as they are looking and remember who i am. yes i want to be remembered. not for some ego trip. i want to be remember as the guy that had a passion for his art. i am not the most talented person by a stretch and i do not even care to be known as that. but i am very passionate about creating art. creating art that ,loves people. creating art that has a story. look at a piece of mine and lets talk about it. I love you and i want to make you smile. i even love you when i am telling you to fuck off because you annoy the shit out of me with your smug attitude criticizing me for how i paint, my so called incorrect technique. i am not going to change for you asshole. i will love you and respect all artists out their who struggle with their fears and show my passion and hope to give some inspiration of courage to show the world their/your gift. my life is shit right now in many areas. but one thing is for certain....i love who i love and i love creating art.