Friday, July 15, 2011


My head hurts. Have you heard that before? Does your head really hurt? Is it a physical problem or stress induced? IF it is stressed induced...did you internalize something? Can we prevent the headache? Alot of questions. 

I had a conversation with someone very special today regarding the choices we make daily in our very fragile lives. We make the choice to waste a day worrying about the things in our lives we cannot control. We add to our miserable existence. In fact our existence is perfect in our creator’s eyes. We are capable of allowing ourselves to feel as much joy as we can take. Isn’t that what life is all about? In any situation we should be able to let that joy in. We only feel joy when we have that temporary fix or stimuli. Caffeine, sugar, shopping, beer, sex, chocolate. We always need something or someone we have to lean on to give us some validation or a blanky. We all have some vice we need to hold on to. We do not need any of this. I struggle every day to make sure my only choice to give me that special feeling that I searched for my entire life is within me. I am in control. I have the ultimate power over all. Yes I do. I can or not allow exterior situations or so called forces penetrate my joy. I remind myself to stand strong. 
LOL. Easier said than done. How do we do it? We tackle what we can control one at a time. We remind ourselves that what we cannot control is what we do not waste our energy on. Like the fear of death. We cannot control that. It WILL come. Our physical will end. YES. Don’t you forget it. But don’t let it haunt you. Whether it is from a car accident or a fall from the banana will come. Chances are if you have some sort of incident that caused a near death experience or accident you caused it. You put yourself in that situation. Example. 
I cannot control that my boss is an idiot. (My Boss is NOT an idiot). But i spent all night after I got home in a bad mood upset about the way this person is. I ignored my kids because I was too buzzed from the bar where I was unwinding because I needed a few drinks to escape the world I am in. So they are neglected. They in turn will develope a complex and wonder what they did wrong to upset me. They will turn to someone else for that missing attention. My wife is upset because I will not perform for her because I come home and I want to go to sleep. So. You know where that goes. I alienate my friends because I am too stressed out to pick up the phone and say hello. Then there is my eating habits and the laziness I feel. So I am too stressed out to work out and I prefer the comfort food. Late night snacks. Insomnia because I overthink what am I doing wrong to cause my boss to dislike me. Snowballing effect takes place in every area of my life. Use your imagination from this caption of my life all because I think my boss has some kind of vendetta against me. The truth is....My boss counts on me to do the job because I am the most reliable person he has. So he puts the most pressure on me and cannot trust anyone else. He is just the kind of person that does not show it because he is so busy with his own problems from his boss giving him shit. He is withdrawn and stressed out about his position but when he drives home he is thankful he has you in his corner. 
So. This is a long example. We create our own demise or our own joy. We are the ultimate creators of our life. Our creator has made a perfect being. We are perfect. We can receive his joy daily just by allowing that joy to just be because it is already there. We have so much going for us and the stimuli and joy we search for daily is within us. We are created in HIS image. Argue with me if you may. Go ahead and waste your time debating. Waste that precious moment you could be just agreeing and letting yourself be joyous and appreciate where you are and what you have. What you have is the time right now! What you have is the CHOICE to be happy. If you were told tomorrow is the last day here for you. BE happy. Be thankful you know it is your last day. Be appreciative that you have a date so you can plan the remaining days to Love. Well. Guess what folks. Today is my last day on earth. Today I die. Tomorrow I am reborn a new. Tomorrow I am given a new opportunity to love again. If it is given to me today is justified as tomorrow earned. If it is not given to me today was a treasure and I made the best of it. Either way we win. Only. Only if we choose to feel that Joy we already have in us. So. What is your excuse?

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