Saturday, March 23, 2013

Why Do I Fear Criticism?

I have not written in this wonderful blog of ours for a while. I know many of you have emailed me asking me why. It is not that I have nothing to say, it is I have been distracted lately. I have been distracted from my passion. I have been avoiding creating or focusing on creating. Why? I guess I am my biggest critic. When I create I enjoy the feeling I get. I relish in the high I feel when I put together colors. But I am so hard on myself. I go against everything I believe in when I look at my own works. I tell everyone not worry and just create your masterpieces. Yet when I create I am very hard on myself. I have to remind myself not to fall into the worlds thought of what is nice and what is not. I am blessed to have experienced people in the art world to accept me as one of them. I have been blessed to have sold so many pieces to people that will genuinely enjoy my works. I know there is a market for my interpretations or style of works. I have connected with this community. That is a privilege and honor that is earned. I feel I have done this.

Where do we move forward from this fear we sometimes get. How do we move forward when there is that pain inside of us that does not allow us to be all that we can be. All it takes is for us to let go and just be happy. Create with a sense of urgency everyday. WE should be looking at life for an inspiration to our works. WE should be inspired by the colors we experience daily. Everywhere we look there is beauty. There is beauty in people and things. There is beauty in nature. We should be enjoying these moments of calmness and clarity. Be ready for the periods where there is tragedy and take advantage of the calmness. WE waste time going to and from that we forget to be appreciative of the great moments we are given on a daily basis. Worrying about what is happening around us that we cannot control really distracts us from what we want to do. I want to love. I want to reach out and hold my loved ones hand. Kiss my grandchildren whenever I see them. See them more often. Listen to my children and give them a breath of life when needed, or a good kick in the ass! I want to connect with friends and co-workers and help them open their eyes. I love talking about how we can improve our lives and be happier. Instead we gossip of others and complain.

The world is full of idiots why are we trying so hard to join that group. IS that an achievement we want someone to speak of us in memory? I want my legacy to read that I was giving of my heart and soul. That I loved unconditionally. That I was charismatic with my affection for the human race. I want others to do the same. Why is this world I yearn for so hard to grasp as a possibility? Who are these folks in this train of thought to criticize me in anyway. WHO gives anyone a right to judge?> We are lonely souls traveling in these bodies for a very short time. We are eternal beings using this time away from home here in these bodies. Are we experimenting? IS this a test for something better? There are religions that say we are trying to level up like a video game. Trying and trying again until we can move on to the next level. there are others that say we chose what we were to become. There is the consensus that says we have a destiny and we are to fulfill and find clarity through sacrifice and humility. All I know is that I am aware of this omnipresent life force that surrounds us and is the source of our energy and power. WE all have access to this power. We do not know the extent of that power. We are so afraid to try. We are so afraid to love one another and yet that is the fuel that powers that strength.