Sunday, October 11, 2009

Where Have You Been All My Life?

Loneliness is a very interesting friend. It never leaves your side. It always finds you when you dont really need it. You can never pin point why your lonely. You might be surrounded by loving people, have your optimum health, status and position in life to be envied. Everything will be clicking on all cylindes and still, there is loneliness. You sit there in a self pitty party every evening or quiet moment. Your in denial when your secret almost is found out by someone watching you unknowingly. You cannot look in the mirror to just look in the mirror or you will see what everyone sees but is afraid to mention. One day all that status, position, and sometimes health is either comprimised and or lest just changes. Dramatically. Then you realize where the loneliness stems from. If you are lucky you make an attitude adjustment before it is too late. Then you realize where the heck have you been all my life? I have not been alone all this time. Our wonderful creator was always with me through my gifts. Through my family. Through my surroundings. Through strangers that need to be helped loved and brought out of the same bullshit lonneliness. I am awake. I am so glad I am awake. My art is my fullfillment. The love I get from strangers enjoying what I do. That is the payoff. The sad part is the days are going by so fast. The time is clicking like a sprint. The clock seems to have a fast hand that does not have mercy on our age. It doesnt. We have to create today. Think about it quickly and act on it. cancer has no value on "wait a minute" heart disease is not going to take a break from its mission. That high blood pressure is ready anytime. Everyday create. Love. Cherish. I am speaking not only to every artist and non artist that reads this but also to myself. Now I am realizing that in order to make something happen in your life you have to will it to happen. effort is involved. Alot of effort. Sacrifice is involved. A well planned out sacrifice of our time. Corporately I sacrificed precious moments of my loving family's time owed to them and traded it for status and position. My children lacked and desperately needed their time of mine. My marriage was stricken with the same. We find ourselves being selfish or caught up in societies little bad plan. Work, make money, spend, owe, make more to pay debt, work more to move up make more money to spend, sleep less to work more to spend more to stay at work. All the time having no time to enjoy what you bought in the first place and less time to spend it with the ones you love. Work all year to have 5 days. Do we really enjoy what we do for a living? And why is it called "a living" Do we really enjoy what we do "till Death?"  When yo are working to pay your debt it is not called living. It shouldbe called a waste of time. I talked to a friend recently and she is fnally doing somethin she loves. She is a caregiver. She loves helping people. her only drawback is getting too attached because in essence she is preparing them for death. Elderly, terminal patients and I am sure in some cases there are patients in need of care untill they get better....but they need love in anycase. They need proper care. The rewards must be tremendous. I personally applaud the medical profession. My mother was a 35 year veteran of the nursing profession. She loved every moment of it until they ran her out of the hospital because they said she was too old. Forgive me....but that is fucked up. She enjoyed it. She loved helping people and she was devestated. But she overcame. She is my hero. She had been running marathons since a car wreck that should have crippled her in 1983. She still runs to this day at 70. Well....more like power walking. I bet those people that said to her she was too old cannot walk a mile in her shoes. My point in all this rant? If you are an artist..paint, sculpt, draw, whatever it is God gave you to enjoy this life and inspire others to do the same. Make the positive wheel spin. Make it the top 5 of things to do aside from your family and loved ones. if you are a non artistic take the same advice. Find a way to inspire people to love cherish hope and be comforting to strangers in need when the opportunity presents itself. you will know in your heart when it s time.What I find really hysterical is that there are some artists that feel they are all together and they are so talented and wonderfully gifted but yet they are so desperate. they cannot find happiness in their work. they cannot find fullfilment in what they PRODUCE. And that is essentially the problem right there they are producing pieces of work instead of CREATING masterpieces. Their souls is being cheated of releasing love. they do not connect with their innerself. Creating pieces of artwork is for everyone to enjoy and be inspired. Or creating pieces to inspire the artists themsekves to be reminded of their gift. The gift that brings them love and joy. Lonely is the artist that does not create.

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