Saturday, November 21, 2009

Do You Love Your Work?

I found myself this week wondering if I am truly happy with what I have been creating. I know others like my work. Do I love my work? I would say no. I am not creating the work that makes me completely happy. What kind of work that is?, I will have to explore and then i can truly and honestly create works of Art. I have been blogging in the past about producing versus creating. I guess I have the passion to create and yet I have been producing. I might be afraid to let go and be me in and through my work. As I troll through the internet in search of inspiration I see that there are so many artists upon artists that are defined by what they create and their creative process. I question my finished piece but I do not compromise my creative process. I learned that shit on my own. I am annoyed with myself and disappointed because I have not been honest with myself. The subject matter is irrelevant to others. I am not painting for them. I am painting for me. If I was an art vending machine and I relied on making the public happy to make a living then It would matter because I am trying to feed the machine. the people I am talking to are not worried about this or that they just want to see me create. the people that I am holding dear to my heart are the people that are emotional when they share the experience with me. We all have our reasons as artists to create our work. I create to inspire and love. I know I sound really corny when I make that statement but It is true. Of course I am filling a void inside me when I create....but reaching out to others to connect with my work is just as important. If I compromise myself and attempt to force myself to paint a specific subject rather than let it flow and not worry about what is coming out everyone sees that in my work. I am learning. I am seeing. I am feeling. When I am at an event and someone comes up to me and tells me my work sees right through their really makes me think and puts me in check about what an artists life is worth on this earth. Why we are here. What is our purpose? That is the answer when someone is moved by your work. Am I looking too much into it? If we are to keep our work private and paint for ourselves then we take no responsibility because we are not reaching out. If we are reaching out and sharing with others publicly...we are responsible and held accountable. IF we paint with our soul and give thought and meaning to our work...then we let everyone in and that is where we connect. Today I am stuck because I have not followed my own rule. Today I make that change and not wait for tomorrow. For tomorrow might never come.

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