Saturday, August 16, 2014

Struggling to be Happy.

"The 'decision to be happy' is actually the decision to stop being happy"-Barry Neil Kaufman
We are born and we crave nurturing. We leave the womb of protection and realize we are in a very hostile environment. We conform and adapt to the environment. But at our essence we want and crave the security of love and the mothers womb. The warmth of that blanket. Cuddling and holding. Joy is what we crave. it is the same sensation. Happiness is what we search for. It is the same stimuli. As we mature in life we look for that or a close replacement. A replacement can mean a stimuli that can mimic the feeling. Drugs, sex, alcohol, anger, violence, addictions.....anything to feel at peace to quiet the voices. We are so reliant on a pacifier. We need that support. Instead of looking within we look outside. We have all the tools to cure this need and craving. It is a choice.

You can tell me how hard it is and describe all your problems and worries. At its core it is a choice. Change the perception you were taught to have of your life. trying to not feel the pain is not a way to be happy. Facing the pain, dealing with it and accepting it as a part of our journey. Making a choice to continue on being appreciative and happy. We have a decision daily that is given. We make the decision for ourselves. To be or not. To feel or not.

I personally struggle with this decision everyday. Everyday I have to focus and dig deep with myself to overcome years of anxiety, depression and worry. I was always very insecure about who I was and how others perceive me. I struggled as a young person looking at life as a good thing. I looked at life as a horrible joke being played on us and why do we have to go through these rituals. grow up, go to school, work, make money, lose money, get married, get goes on. Disappointment. Heartache.  Everyday we have to fight for what we are. It is work. The end result is always worth the struggle. Happiness.

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