Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.
1. Your default belief is that life is hard.
Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times
with an attitude of curiosity versus victim-hood. They take
responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on
getting themselves out of it as soon as possible.
Perseverance
towards problem-solving versus complaining over circumstances is a
symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of
life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus
finding a way through and out the other side.
2. You believe most people can't be trusted.
I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy
people are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in
people, versus assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and
friendly towards people they meet, happy people foster a sense of
community around themselves and meet new people with an open heart.
Unhappy
people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that
strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to
close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts
all chances of meeting new friends.
3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.
There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy
people turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and
instead focus on what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be
the ones complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our
world with "yeah but".
Happy people are aware of global issues,
but balance their concern with also seeing what's right. I like to call
this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend to close one eye
towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted
from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our
world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right.
4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.
Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their
own. They believe there's not enough goodness to go around and
constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and
resentment.
Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance
are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve. Happy people
believe they carry a unique blueprint that can't be duplicated or stolen
from -- by anyone on the planet. They believe in unlimited
possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking one person's good
fortune limits their possible outcome in life.
5. You strive to control your life.
There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals.
Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the
end, there's very little control over what life throws their way.
Unhappy
people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall
apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy
people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with
the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.
The
key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting
sh*t happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry-
because they will. Going with the flow is what happy people have as plan
B.
6. You consider your future with worry and fear.
There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill
their thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.
Happy
people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to
daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy
people fill that head space with constant worry and fear.
Happy
people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction
between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy
person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they can be
taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's
responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they're
spinning in fear and they lay it down.
7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.
Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and
life's hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of
things to say, they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.
Happy
people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their
positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something
they're working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the
possibilities of life.
Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all
going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but what matters is
how long we stay there and how quickly we work to get ourselves out.
Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy people apart from
unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly.
Walk, fall down, get back up again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference resides.
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