You Suck but I Love You!

I'm Happy. It does not mean I am perfect. I am thankful for everything I  have in my life. I have my family intact and I have not lost anyone recently. I enjoy every moment with my family. I struggle internally with a myriad of thoughts and perceptions. I have tried my whole life to love unconditionally and yet I seem to overwhelm myself with expectations I put on myself. In the past I have blamed myself for all the challenges that have changed the direction and path I was on. Now I know it is under my control. The mystery is how do we steer ourselves into the situation we desire most? That is the challenge. I never cared about material objects or money. I have always focused on the spiritual and love side of things. I do not do well with controlling personalities. I have allowed my past to dictate my perceptions of the word control and what level is deemed controlling. Those lines are blurred in my mind and I do not have a clear idea what is too much and what is toxic. I have hurt people that I have shared a relationship with(friends, family and etc..). I can only reflect on the lessons learned and not the loss. I can only appreciate the experience I had and not mourn the mistakes and hurt I have caused. I can only love and hope and pray the people I shared special moments and experiences with will continue to be happy  and experience an abundant and joyous life. Go forward is all I can do. I often reflect on the pain as a strengthening of character I can hold on to and overcome my fears. I recently reflected on all my pain, loss and hurt in my life. I wrote it all down and highlighted in an effort to organize and put it all into perspective. A wonderful person once told me , "We are all in each others life for a moment to serve a purpose for one another. Sometimes the moment is long and sometimes the moment is short. God allows interactions and doesn't allow for a purpose." I pray that I do not burn in hell and rot in dogshit and be unhappy the rest of my life, live in the bowels of animal feces, experience pain and unhappiness the rest of my life....all of this has been wished upon me by people I have caused unhappiness to. So many more comments that I cannot describe for they were said in anger and disgust for having the bad experiencing of knowing me. I can only hope that forgiveness is in their hearts but to be honest I cannot control what others think. I cannot dwell on their opinion of me and my mistakes. I can only not give a shit for their negative thoughts of me and move on. I am a better person today than I was yesterday. I do mourn for the hurt I have caused but I have also been hurt in a time. I have forgiven all. I love all. Maybe there is one percent I have not resolved. I can live with that. If there is a purpose for this rant of mine is this......

Live your life free of sadness, guilt, fear and negativity. Be empowered every day and love one another. I only write my rants out of love for everyone. I cry every night as a way of releasing the bullshit people and the world try and put on me. I cleanse myself nightly of all the bad Karma I might have put on myself in the past and probably as recent as today. I cleanse myself by helping someone and loving everyone. If you hate me then I love you. If you want to cause pain to me and my family and friends I love you. If you cannot forgive me and continue to hurt me...I love you. I will not reduce myself to lower myself to say "fuck you" I will only love you. In my heart I will love you...externally I might blurt out a hypocritical statement like....all the bad words in the world and direct them at that person or situation...But I am human. We cannot allow ourselves to point at one another with the hand that always has 3 fingers pointing back at ourselves. We cannot portray ourselves as perfect when in the mirror we look at ourselves and know that the realization is that we suck. Quit your bitching and moaning, get on with your life and be happy for a change. Truly be happy inside out....not just a smile for everyone to see the side show called YOU.

I love all of you and especially YOU.

Forgiveness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.

But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Stronger immune system
• Improved heart health
• Higher self-esteem
• Reduce injury to your knuckles from punching that wall. 

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you're unforgiving, you might:

• Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
• Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present
• Become depressed or anxious
• Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs
• Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

How do I reach a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

• Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
• Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
• Actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you, when you're ready
• Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

My Positive Rant

We give of ourselves everyday and expect someone to notice. We love and expect love in return. WE cry and expect someone to console us and show us attention. I say Love unconditionally and expect nothing in return. I say Cry, Laugh and expect love to be received. Sometimes people appreciate quietly. Sometimes we are examples to people that are afraid to express themselves. Sometimes we are a light and a beacon for someones darkness. We are looked upon by someone else and we should not disappoint. We have to remember children do not have a voice. People living in fear and depression are quiet. We need to laugh, Love, enjoy everyday and Give of ourselves to one another. Make up for each others weaknesses and call each other brother and sister in this world we live in we are equal. Equally alone in the large vast universe. We are all connected through that entity called Love. Did I lose half of you? Let me break it down another way....... Quit complaining and be mindful if you have the capacity to understand this post you can understand how to love unconditionally and quit your bitching and moaning. Live your days positive. CHOOSE to be happy.

I Love You All

There is so much to say since I have last been on this blog. I did not forget about it I just did not have anything to say. I know certain people read this and I want to make sure I am as positive as I can be and encouraging with sincerity. I do not want to be hypocritical in my writings.

We are all in an experience for a limited period of time while we are alive. We have a daily task to accomplish. Each of us has their own agenda and task to complete. I sincerely hope we all have discovered what we are here for. I have known my "calling" since I was a very young person. I love people and helping people. I am in a position at my job where I can make a difference in peoples life every day. I can only make a difference if I am approachable. I can only make a difference if I am willing to humble myself in front of people. I started this blog initially to help people overcome their fears in expressing themselves in art. I wanted to share to everyone how to create their own courage to express themselves without fear. This blog evolved into a discussion on how to create our lives. Create like an artist would. Dream of the image, and then create it. We do that on a daily basis.

We are creators of our own lives. If we focus on stressful situations we become the situation. If we have faith to overcome eventually it will be overcame. WE are always so resilient as humans. We seem to find a way. I am so confident that we were given this birthright to be as strong as the entity or power that created us. WE just have to tap into that power that rests in us. We have to awaken that force we have inside and use it daily to create. Create a world that is amazing and wonderful.

In the past I would worry for all the bad that "could" happen that eventually bad would follow. I would be in such a despair of all the bad things happening to me that was my focus. Am I saying that we are the cause of everything in our lives? All I am saying is that we can raise the odds in our favor with more faith than what we work with at present. We can surely have a fighting chance if we do not worry for what is in store and appreciate what is in front of us. For all that happens in our experience is for the good. We are always overcoming and character always gets stronger when we overcome challenges. It is like lifting weights. we get strong with the heavier weights we lift.

I want to use this platform to reach people and convey positive words to maybe help and encourage. I would like to be a small voice in your ear that reminds you we are all going through the same journey and we can lean on our fellow human brother or sister for support. It is possible to live in a world of compassion amongst the shit hole of the world. We just need a place or group to trust.

Ill be back.