Give me a Break!

Is pain a good inpiration? I guess the experiences we have throughout our life time can inspire us to create works that have substance whether or not the experiences are positive or negative experiences. We can grow up with turmoil in our lives and somehow that creative process cleanses us and aids in releasing those internal feelings that torture us. I know after so many years of anxiety and internalizing the outside that I cannot control in my life I came to a place of happiness yet there was a strong presence of the residue left over. When I created in that mindset I allowed myself to express myself through imagery that depicted my inner concerns. There were so many emotions that I did not know existed in my mind. My soul was cluttered with all the pain. I immediately created with what I saw and felt that would describe those deep rooted hidden feelings. I sometimes would scare family and friends with my imagery but it did not matter. I created none the less. I partook in group shows and had one man shows with my work and did not care if there was criticism. I let go. I have let go. Now a new chatper has begun in my life. Where my work takes me I am looking forward to the surprises. I have no plans other than to express honestly. Give me a break!

By Any Stretch Of The Imagination!

As I sit here in my seat some thousands of feet in the air waiting to get to my work location for the week I am looking out my window realizing what an amazing creation we are. What an amazing creation we are a part of. We live in a wonderful planet. Able to sustain the life it holds. Yet we have so much that destroys it. Do we really appreciate what we are and what we have? We hold the key to most things in this world. We are so capable to offer ourselves the happiness and enjoyment that we deserve. Yet we ruin it by negatively affecting the lives of people around us. We destroy so much. Not only in the physical world but in the metaphysical. I believe that when we are in our hearts hateful of our fellow man and looking to hurt and put others on the defense we tear down the happiness around us. How can we expect to have a peaceful world when we cause so much hurt among others. I have spent my life lying to myself thinking I was OK as long as I l kept to myself...Ignored the people I chose to stay away from even though they were reaching out. I held that regret for a long time. Now I take it as a lesson to remember never to allow myself to feel that way again. I still struggle with the residue of the asshole I was. Now I love everyone. Yes everyone. I have taken solace in the peace I receive when I forgive. It is very liberating. I Feel that was the Achilles heel of my pain all these years and caused all the health problems I had. Funny how we create our own stress and let ourselves believe it was caused by external forces beyond our control. LOL> what a lie the little man and voice on my shoulder tells me. I stop believing the voices in my head. Now those voices are there to entertain me and remind me to stay focused in life. hold the people you love dear and close. we are all so fragile that we crush the hearts of our children with our selfishness. they are so innocent they just want to love and be loved. they look for our support for those of us who are parents or even if you aren't you have some contact with a family member who looks up to you. They look for that comfort in a loving supportive loved one and then they get shit on! LOL. wow. I have those memories. and instead of learning from them and improving my little world around me to inspire people around me I felt everyone around me will pay. wow. sad. sad little man i was. we are just but a spec of little grain of sand in the desert. can you imagine. a single grain of sand in the desert. yet we hold so much power. the ratio of people who know all of the above to those who are ignorant to this enlightenment is so lopsided. a grain of sand in the desert in comparison. i might ramble. but you know i have struck a nerve one way or another. either i made you cry or i pissed you off because you are too ignorant to come to a realization that we are responsible for our misery MOST of the time. And even if my wonderful friends in New Zealand are suffering the earths itch. I know there is a catastrophic event happening right now along with all of the other events on this beautiful earth.....we still hold the choice to appreciate our life if we have it...and I am sure for those that have passes they are in a much more peaceful and wonderful place. so it is a win win situation. lets of course assume and hope that ALL of us realize the importance of loving each other while we are here and taking care of one another. being responsible and accountable for one another. i am sure we all have our individual beliefs and we can sit here and argue the point until our ears bleed and our jaws lock for all the bullshit we hear and speak. we argue and destroy each others faith because we chastise one another with ritualistic beliefs and practices. we spew hate at each other because we do not believe in each others God. And how hypocritical that statement is.... God is Love. And yet we will blow each other up. Shoot each other, expel banish and ignore each other all in the name of our Lord. Is this right. Here I go again. Hate mail on its way. Hey! Don't read it. Get off my page and continue to lie in the mirror. I will continue to love you. I will continue to forgive and hug you. I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers. Yes I will. You asshole! I love you! lol. Gotta have a sense of humor. we HAVE to laugh at ourselves because we are a joke. look at our society today. look at what we do in our spare time. look at what we let our children partake in. look at the public and see the negative. is there room for more? yet if i reach out and hug my fellow man and brother and sister in humanity...something is wrong. We are artists. We are the creators of our lives. we are all able to create what we want. I am creating a beautiful masterpiece of happiness for the rest of my life. By Any Stretch Of My Imagination I will create such a masterpiece that only the greats would appreciate the intricacies of detail in my love for you. I will use so much color in my piece and the texture will be amazing! My canvas will be my life and my imagery will be soothing to the eye and you will feel my energy in every corner of my being. My passion will shine!

Internal

It is always within that we struggle for our lives. We always have difficulties expressing ourselves the way we hope to as artists. We always worry about the exterior and criticisms. I guess it is human of us to need validation. We create and we need some sort of "hey! Nice!" but do we really need that? I keep arguing with myself about this. I want people to be impacted by what I create. I want people to feel what I felt when I created that energy in my piece. Wanting people to have a reaction to what I create is I guess in essence a request for validation. Am I approaching it all wrong. the answer is YES> Who gives a shit what people think. throw caution to the wind. Create. Free yourself of that turmoil that you internalize and let go. A writers block is indicative of the anxiety he or she feels about the content and whether it will be read and how successful it will be. They need to create interest in their pieces. So they mull over their choices and keep time. Or let time slip away. Procrastinating the inevitable....they will eventually say to themselves..."I am writing what I want to write" and it turns out to be their best work. Yes I know this process we go through as creators of an art form is redundant. And we always seem to fall back to this ridiculous ritual. Maybe it makes for a better expression. Having that internal struggle as we are contemplating how to outwardly vent our life in our work. The choice we have to make is how far we will go in our self doubt, insecure thoughts and looking in the mirror wondering if we are good enough before we can have the right to claim our masterpiece and display for all the know it alls in the world to see. I for one will look in the mirror, see I am worthy of my gift because I have the desire to create and therefor it must be my title as artist to hold. If someone does not agree that my imagery or subject matter is appropriate for display...there are a shit load of other artists in the world for them to admire and or criticize. I Am creating for those people that love what I create and those that fall in love and connect with the energy I process through my work. We are all connected in this life and the ideas we receive are a thought from someone looking for the piece we create. We have to create. As artists we are just a tool and a vehicle for these ideas floating around coming from other like minded souls. We need to make sure we are respectful of this divine gift we have been given. If our block is keeping us from creating then we are just in expectation of that idea to be created somewhere.

Remember To Be Happy.

There are so many reasons we stop being happy. There are so many excuses we reason with to justify the actions of our selfishness. We look past the innocent looks of our children. We ignore the wisdom of our elders who have gone through all we are experiencing. We fall into the beliefs that our twisted society has brainwashed us with. We continue in self pitty. I for one have done all of the above. As of recent I almost fell into this lie again. I always am reminded through the love of my children and a few loved ones that life is too precious to throw away a single moment in our short time here. We only have a small window of opportunity to enjoy the moment. Sometimes we are given a lifetime of opportunity and we do not realize it until a lifetime has passed. Then and only then we look back and see how special and wonderful we had it. I see that in people i know. I experienced it. I am still young enough...or am i. is my mortality right around the corner? has my health deteriorated so much that i am so close? who knows.... All i know is i have now. I have this moment with my family and friends. i have this moment in time to enjoy life. i have this moment in time to be thankful in all that has been presented to me. indulge in the beauty of my life. take stock of the precious moments that have been given to me. tend to those people that have been put in my path. i know i have a wonderful purpose in this life. i am here to inspire. i am here to make someone smile. i am here to create. i am here to help humanity evolve into a loving society. it is possible. so many negative people have crossed my path. so many detractors.they have not penetrated my being like before. now they empower me to press forward. i am not easily intimidated. are you? do you hold back? do you keep that special unique gift inside that maybe could be shared with someone or someones. lol. do you see it as a threat to expose yourself to others and open up to maybe create for anothers enjoyment. are you holding back the love that has been gifted to you? i guess a lot of people might disagree with me. its OK. i do not always agree with myself hence an internal struggle. but we all have to at least reach out somehow and to figure out how is brave. because to figure out how takes experimentation. experimentation for creations sake sometimes takes sacrifice. sometimes we need to sacrifice to give someone else freedom. in this case we are talking freedom from fear. fear of being happy. comfort in being unhappy and sad. being dependent on the misery that is like a drug in our society. we depend on a substance to ease the pain of our misery and depression. we are addicted to that substance. we look for answers to why we are addicted. we look for the love to distract us from the addiction. then we intimidate because people are afraid of who we are. then we fall deeper because we blame society for our failure to function normally. So we reach out for help. we are now isolated because we have alienated ourselves from the world with all of our problems that we are blaming everyone to be the cause. all we needed to do was be happy to begin with. we could have avoided all of this bullshit. All we had to do was create. all we had to do was help someone. all we had to do was be thankful. love. yes it is that easy. what a waste. i feel like shit just writing this. and yet the great thing about it....i still have a chance. i am here to inspire love help love smile hug kiss scream with joy. i am here for you my brothers and sisters. create love and inspire~!